"The dead can be even more frustrating to deal with than are many of the living, which is astonishing when you consider it's the living who run the Department of Motor Vehicles."

Satire, Death, Bureaucracy, Frustration, Irony

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"The dead can be even more frustrating to deal with than are many of the living, which is astonishing when you consider it's the living who run the Department of Motor Vehicles."

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"Genuinity is mother of stupidity."

Vikrmn, Indian Author

Satire, Stupidity, Mother, Truth, Irony

"You don't have to be stupid to be a Christian, ... but it probably helps."

Ambrose Bierce, American Journalist

Satire, Humor, Religion, Ignorance, Critique

"Fella says today, 'Depression is over. I seen a jackrabbit, an' they wasn't nobody after him.' An' another fella says, 'That aint the reason. Can't afford to kill jackrabbits no more. Catch 'em and milk 'em an' turn 'em loose. One you seen prob'ly gone dry."

John Steinbeck, American Author

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"The difficulty with humourists is that they will mix what they believe with what they don't whichever seems likelier to win an effect."

John Updike, American Novelist

Satire, Humor, Irony, Belief, Manipulation

"God created war so that Americans would learn geography."

Mark Twain, American Author

Satire, God, War, Americans, Geography

"Does your guilty past catch up so fast with your age? You've been robbing hex nuts, cap nuts, lock nuts and wing nuts. No wonder you have turned into a greedy nut."

Angelica Hopes, Swiss Author

Satire, Guilt, Crime, Irony

"Never make fun of people who are different...unless they have more money, power and influence. Then you must."

Ziad K. Abdelnour, Lebanese Author

Satire, Humor, Wealth, Power, Truth

"We're roughage," Tyger said. "If we don't cause a little intestinal distress, no one knows we're there."

Neal Shusterman, American Author

Satire, Disruption, Humor, Impact, Awareness

"He wondered reflectively what would happen if you asked a nun where the Gents was. Probably the Pope sent you a sharp note or something."

Neil Gaiman, British Author

Satire, Humor, Religion, Authority

"We are all brothers under the skin - and I, for one, would be willing to skin humanity to prove it."

Ayn Rand, Russian Writer

Satire, Brotherhood, Skin, Humanity, Sarcasm

Explore more quotes by Dean Koontz

"People have a natural tendency to anthropomorphize their pets, to ascribe human perceptions and intentions to the animal where none exist."

Behavior

"I've not seen in my lifetime any politician who is a heroic figure. The manipulation that all politicians use on one level or another is so transparent."

Mistake

"If I drive myself to the brink of my ability, then I don't get stale or bored."

Ability

"I believe that I was a dog in a past life. That's the only thing that would explain why I like to snack on Purina Dog Chow."

Life

"Home was not a perfect place. But it was the only home they had and they could hope to make it better."

Home

"Give the narrative a lighter tone than you think it deserves, dear boy, lighter than you think you can bear to give it," he instructed before I began to write, "because you won't find the truth of life in morbidity, only in hope."

Hope

"She is a girl who feels things strongly, and though cynics might mock her for that, I never will, as it is perhaps the best of graces: to feel deeply, to care profoundly."

Emotion

"Life without meaningcannot be borne.We find a missionto which we're sworn--or answer the callof Death's dark horn.Without a gleaningof purpose in life,we have no vision,we live in strife,--or let blood fallon a suicide knife."

Purpose

"A high degree of intelligence yes in no other creature in the natural world. That's why nature shuns us and why we subconsciously hate her and seek to obliterate her. High intelligence leads to the concept of progress. Progress leads to nuclear weapons, bio-engineering chaos and ultimately to annihilation."

Science

"When you have dogs, you witness their uncomplaining acceptance of suffering, their bright desire to make the most of life in spite of the limitations of age and disease, their calm awareness of the approaching end when their final hours come. They accept death with a grace that I hope I will one day be brave enough to muster."

Compassion