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Heather Mills

"I could get into bed with James Bond, then take my false leg off and it would really be a gun."

Heather Mills, British Activist
Humor, Bed
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"I could get into bed with James Bond, then take my false leg off and it would really be a gun."

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Amber Hurdle

"I've accepted the fact I have mental illness but when my imaginary friends start calling me crazy that's where I draw the line."

Stanley Victor Paskavich, American Politician
Humor, Mental, Friend, Imagination
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Amber Hurdle

"Got a lot of sinful idears--but they seem kinda sensible."

John Steinbeck, American Author
Humor, Sin, Idea, Truth
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Amber Hurdle

"Laughter comes later, like wisdom teeth. And laughter at yourself comes last of all in a mad race with death. And sometimes, it isn't in time."

John Steinbeck, American Author
Humor, Laughter, Wisdom, Mortality
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Amber Hurdle

"Never stay up on the barren heights of cleverness, but come down into the green valleys of silliness."

Ludwig Wittgenstein, Austrian Philosopher
Humor, Cleverness
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Amber Hurdle

"If they gave him an enema, he could be buried in a matchbox."

Anonymous, Unknown Unknown
Humor, Death, Sarcasm, Mortality
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Amber Hurdle

"Name the greatest of all inventors: Accident."

Mark Twain, American Author
Humor, Accident, Creativity, Surprise
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Amber Hurdle

"Pessimist - one who when he has the choice of two evils chooses both."

Oscar Wilde, Irish Dramatist
Humor, Pessimism, Evil, Choice, Irony
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Amber Hurdle

"Pardon my French if you're a religious man.''I am,' Bill said, grinning.'Then get outta my cab and go to fucking church,' the cabbie said, and they both burst out laughing."

Stephen King, American Author
Humor, Faith, Truth, Wisdom
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Amber Hurdle

"Mr. Bennet, how can you abuse your own children in such a way? Youtake delight in vexing me. You have no compassion for my poor nerves.""You mistake me, my dear. I have a high respect for your nerves. Theyare my old friends. I have heard you mention them with considerationthese last twenty years at least."

Jane Austen, British Writer
Humor, Marriage, Family, Nerves
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Amber Hurdle

"The educated Southerner has no use for an 'R', except at the beginning of a word."

Mark Twain, American Author
Humor, Beginning, Word

Explore more quotes by Heather Mills

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Heather Mills
"It took one human error to take my leg and one human error to take my mother's."
Family
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Heather Mills
"There have been loads of times I have regretted meeting Paul because I was so happy in my old life."
Life
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Heather Mills
"I could get into bed with James Bond, then take my false leg off and it would really be a gun."
Humor
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