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"I know a man who doesn't pay to have his trash taken out. How does he get rid of his trash? He gift wraps it, and puts in into an unlocked car."
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"I hate fishing, and I can't imagine why anyone would want to hike when you can get in the car and drive."
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Personal Development
"I sing in the car if I'm in LA, because you're like soundproofed."
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Personal Development
"One morning, about four o'clock, I was driving my car just about as fast as I could. I thought, Why am I out this time of night? I was miserable, and it came to me: I'm falling in love with somebody I have no right to fall in love with."
Author Name
Personal Development
"My kids always perceived the bathroom as a place where you wait it out until all the groceries are unloaded from the car."
Author Name
Personal Development
"I will never have a drink and get behind the wheel of a car. It's not illegal to drink and drive, but there becomes a certain point where it does become a crime."
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Personal Development
"One of my biggest problems this season was with the clutch at the start of the race. I hate to risk the car."
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Personal Development
"We had the guys from X Men 2 do the cameras. They had a 360 camera that would go from one car, up in the air and over to another car in a continuous shot while the film was still rolling, going 90 mph."
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Personal Development
"Campaign behavior for wives: Always be on time. Do as little talking as humanly possible. Lean back in the parade car so everybody can see the president."
Author Name
Personal Development
"The American Dream has run out of gas. The car has stopped. It no longer supplies the world with its images, its dreams, its fantasies. No more. It's over. It supplies the world with its nightmares now: the Kennedy assassination, Watergate, Vietnam."
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Personal Development
"People don't understand that it was maybe my biggest pleasure to drive an F1 car when it's wet."
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"Why do Jewish divorces cost so much? They're worth it."
Worth
"I take my wife everywhere, but she keeps finding her way back."
Wife
"If my mother knew I did this for a living, she'd kill me. She thinks I'm selling dope."
Mother
"A Jewish woman had two chickens. One got sick, so the woman made chicken soup out of the other one to help the sick one get well."
Help
"Do you know what it means to come home at night to a woman who'll give you a little love, a little affection, a little tenderness? It means you're in the wrong house, that's what it means."
Home
"If you're going to do something tonight that you'll be sorry for tomorrow morning, sleep late."
Sleep
"While playing golf today I hit two good balls. I stepped on a rake."
Golf
"I once wanted to become an atheist, but I gave up - they have no holidays."
Holiday
"My wife dresses to kill. She cooks the same way."
Wife
"When God sneezed, I didn't know what to say."
God
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