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Gilbert Gottfried

"The pressure to being a comedian is being funny, but I've given that up, so there is no pressure whatsoever."

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"The pressure to being a comedian is being funny, but I've given that up, so there is no pressure whatsoever."

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"The most exciting phrase to hear in science, the one that heralds new discoveries, is not 'Eureka!' but 'That's funny...'"

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"A lot of my friends are club people. It's not me. It's funny to represent that, because it's not me. I don't fit into a gay club setting. It's just ironic that I represent that somehow."

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"If I'm in something funny, I like to try and find some kind of serious line in it that people can relate to."

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"Well, I play Jews and parrots. Parrots are how I've branched out."
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"I predict one of these two teams will win the Super Bowl."
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"If the police ever try to pick me up, Michael Jackson told me I can hide out at his house."
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"No, generally I think influence is used as a nice word for plagiarism."
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Gilbert Gottfried
"The pressure to being a comedian is being funny, but I've given that up, so there is no pressure whatsoever."
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"I've never been one of those who wanted to fill my calendar up 90 percent of the time."
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