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"Everything is funny, as long as it's happening to somebody else."
Author Name
Personal Development
"If I studied all my life, I couldn't think up half the number of funny things passed in one session of congress."
Author Name
Personal Development
"It's a funny thing about life; if you refuse to accept anything but the best, you very often get it."
Author Name
Personal Development
"Leno, Conan. They are both really funny. They really know how to land one."
Author Name
Personal Development
"Jim Carrey, a comic genius, has a harder time overcoming the public's desire for him to be funny simply because he's so good at it."
Author Name
Personal Development
"I walked in thinking, 'I have ten movies under my belt and now they want me to go back to making commercials?' I said, if I do that, I want it to be funny."
Author Name
Personal Development
"It's funny how the music industry is enraged about the Internet and the way things are copied without being paid for. But you know why people steal the music? Because they can't afford the music."
Author Name
Personal Development
"This is going to sound really funny. I have a poster of Zac Efron on my wall! I think every girl has a poster of him in their room so, why not join the club!"
Author Name
Personal Development
"Cheryl Cole and Katy Perry are two of the hottest girls in the world - and so normal and funny with it. If I was a few years older they are the kind of girls I'd like to date. I want a younger version of Cheryl and Katy - a mixture of the two would be hot."
Author Name
Personal Development
"People don't realize that I'm really funny and I'm an excellent bridge player."
Author Name
Personal Development
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"Dick Gregory was a great comedian who went and got arrested, did hunger strikes, protests. It never hurt his career to be outspoken."
Career
"People want their 15 minutes and are willing to do anything to get it."
People
"My act is so completely and totally uncensored that the only way I could really pull it off is if I treat the audience like they're my best friends."
Act
"I had seen movies before that that had made me laugh, but I had never seen anything even remotely close to as funny as Richard Pryor was, just standing there talking."
Funny
"I wouldn't totally rule out doing Letterman or the Tonight Show if I had a set that I just happened to write that I thought was funny but was still appropriate for network censors. But I'm not going to go out of my way."
Funny
"The misconception is that standup comics are always on. I don't know any really funny comics that are annoying and constantly trying to be funny all the time."
Funny
"That's my only goal. Surround myself with funny people, and make sure everyone has a good time and works hard."
Funny
"I don't care if you're gay, black, Chinese, straight. That means nothing to me. It's all an illusion."
Care
"It's painful for me to watch someone who isn't funny. It's horrifying to sit in the back and watch some guy who just totally sucks."
Funny
"Because I have a girlfriend, I try and take the straight and narrow path, which is good because it prevents VD."
Girlfriend
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