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"Yes; poor Bunbury is a dreadful invalid.Well, I must say, Algernon, that I think it is high time that Mr. Bunbury made up his mind whether he was going to live or to die. This shillyshallying with the question is absurd."
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"Genuinity is mother of stupidity."
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"You don't have to be stupid to be a Christian, ... but it probably helps."
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"Fella says today, 'Depression is over. I seen a jackrabbit, an' they wasn't nobody after him.' An' another fella says, 'That aint the reason. Can't afford to kill jackrabbits no more. Catch 'em and milk 'em an' turn 'em loose. One you seen prob'ly gone dry."
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"The difficulty with humourists is that they will mix what they believe with what they don't whichever seems likelier to win an effect."
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"God created war so that Americans would learn geography."
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"I'm joking when I say I'm the grand-pop of those claiming to be an avatar-messiah or god. But if they're serious, then, I am who I am."
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"Does your guilty past catch up so fast with your age? You've been robbing hex nuts, cap nuts, lock nuts and wing nuts. No wonder you have turned into a greedy nut."
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"Prices of semicolons, plot devices, prologues and inciting incidents continued to fall yesterday, lopping twenty points off the TomJones Index."
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"Never make fun of people who are different...unless they have more money, power and influence. Then you must."
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"We're roughage," Tyger said. "If we don't cause a little intestinal distress, no one knows we're there."
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Explore more quotes by Oscar Wilde
"There is no necessity to separate the monarch from the mob; all authority is equally bad."
Authority
"There were poisons so subtle that to know their properties one had to sicken of them. There were maladies so strange that one had to pass through them if one sought to understand their nature."
Knowledge
"I never approve, or disapprove, of anything now. It is an absurd attitude to take towards life."
Philosophy
"The good ended happily, and the bad unhappily. That is what fiction means."
Fiction
"The past could always be annihilated. Regret, denial, or forgetfulness could do that. But the future was inevitable."
Philosophy
"The difference between literature and journalism is that journalism is unreadable and literature is not read."
Difference
"I have forgotten all about my school days. I have a vague impression that they were detestable."
Irony
"I have a business appointment that I am anxious... to miss."
Irony
"And the young Fisherman said to himself: "How strange a thing this is! The Priest telleth me that the Soul is worth all the gold in the world, and the merchants say that it is not worth a clipped piece of silver."
Philosophy
"In fact, now you mention the subject, I have been very bad in my own small way.I don't think you should be so proud of that, though I am sure it must have been very pleasant."
Behavior
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