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"Yes; poor Bunbury is a dreadful invalid.Well, I must say, Algernon, that I think it is high time that Mr. Bunbury made up his mind whether he was going to live or to die. This shillyshallying with the question is absurd."
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"What did you bring me today? Delusional mutterings with a side of crazy?"
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Personal Development
"I've heard that men are like fine wine. They begin as grapes, and it's up to women to stomp the shit out of them until they turn into something acceptable to have dinner with."
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Personal Development
"Behind him, he heard Ronan say, "I like the way you losers thought Instagram before first aid. Fuck off."
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Personal Development
"The door of Reverend Verringer's impressive manse is opened by an elderly female with a face like a pine plank; the Reverend is unmarried, and has need of an irreproachable housekeeper. Simon is ushered into the library. It is so self-consciously the right sort of library that he has an urge to set fire to it."
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"He [Old Mr. Turveydrop] was a fat old gentleman with a false complexion, false teeth, false whiskers, and a wig. He had a fur collar, and he had a padded breast to his coat, which only wanted a star or a broad blue ribbon to be complete. He was pinched in, and swelled out, and got up, and strapped down, as much as he could possibly bear."
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"I blame feminism and Facebook for the death of the American automobile. I'm a Republican, so I blame everything on feminism - or commies."
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Personal Development
"Opera in English is in the main just about as sensible as baseball in Italian."
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Personal Development
"Historian: an unsuccessful novelist."
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Personal Development
"Puritanism: The haunting fear that someone, somewhere, may be happy."
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Personal Development
"We are all brothers under the skin - and I, for one, would be willing to skin humanity to prove it."
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"Fathers should be neither seen nor heard. That is the only proper basis for family life."
Family
"When the gods wish to punish us they answer our prayers."
God
"Everybody who is incapable of learning has taken to teaching."
Learning
"In married life three is company and two none."
Life
"Difference of object does not alter singleness of passion. It merely intensifies it. We can have in life but one great experience at best, and the secret of life is to reproduce that experience as often as possible."
Philosophy
"For what is truth? In matters of religion, it is simply the opinion that has survived. In matters of science, it is the ultimate sensation. In matters of art, it is one's last mood."
Philosophy
"Great passions are for the great of soul, and great events can be seen only by those who are on a level with them."
Philosophy
"Ah! that is the great thing in life, to live the truth."
Truth
"God and other artists are always a little obscure....."
God
"The aim of life is self-development. To realize one's nature perfectly - that is what each of us is here for."
Philosophy
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