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"Comedy is exaggerated realism. It can be stretched to the almost ludicrous, but it must always be believable."
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"Make it dark, make it grim, make it tough, but then, for the love of God, tell a joke."
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Personal Development
"I hate comedy... Yo...-yo bitch."
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"It's always been said that comedy comes mostly out of the dark side anyway."
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"I never watch comedies they suck if something sucks it sucks there isn't doubt about it."
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"Have a chocolate-covered raisin, he said."They look like rat droppings, said the Chair.The Dean peered at them in the gloom."So that's it, he said. "The bag fell on the floor a minute ago, and I thought there seemed rather a lot."
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"I'd like to come back because I really miss doing situation comedy."
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"There's a lot of comedy in Intermission but it's got this depth. It's not comedy for comedy's sake - it's informed by something else. I like stuff like that."
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"Uh-oh, I hope he doesn't start rattling off dirty limericks next; she'll probably burn the hotel down."
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"Are you out of your goddamn mind? You think we can take on two hundred soldiers? I know I am an extremely attractive man, J, but I am not Bruce Lee."Who's Bruce Lee?"Who's Bruce Lee? Kenji asks, horrified. "Oh my God. We can't even be friends anymore."Why? Was he a friend of yours?"You know what, he says, "just stop. Just-I can't even talk to you right now."
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"I think a lot of the instincts you have doing comedy are really the same for doing drama, in that it's essentially about listening. The way I approach comedy, is you have to commit to everything as if it's a dramatic role, meaning you play it straight."
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"I don't understand why people don't remember my name."
People
"My dad was a ham, too. He could sell those women anything. Of all his sons, I was the only one he could trust to sell as well as he could. I was proud of that."
Father
"The doctor's name was Sylvia. I told her she'd have a problem with me because Sylvia was my mother's name."
Mother
"An actor shouldn't undergo psychoanalysis, because there are a lot of things you're better off not knowing."
Actor
"I feel now it's useless to keep hoping. The way things are today, we live in a world that needs laughter, and I've decided if I can make people laugh, I'm making a more important contribution."
People
"A closet full of wire hangers can be the most dangerous place in the world."
World
"The whole romantic part of my life was a wipeout. I didn't even own a belt."
Life
"Food was a constant topic of conversation in our household."
Food
"It was the worst moment of my life. The producer came up and talked me back into going on stage."
Life
"When I said I didn't have a cent, I didn't. I used to get annoyed with people who said they were broke when they had five dollars."
People
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