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"Taxes are important. President Bush's tax proposals leave no rich person behind. Voters approve of President Bush helping the kind of people they wish they were one of."
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"The Edge... there is no honest way to explain it because the only people who really know where it is are the ones who have gone over."

"What had begun as a movement to free all black people from racist oppression became a movement with its primary goal the establishment of black male patriarchy."

"Good-looking people with strong, fluoridated teeth get things handed to them on platters."

"With Google I'm starting to burn out on knowing the answer to everything. People in the year 2020 are going to be nostalgic for the sensation of feeling clueless."

"Most people never run far enough on their first wind to find out they've got a second."
Explore more quotes by Andy Rooney

"I don't think the government is out to get me or help someone else get me but it wouldn't surprise me if they were out to sell me something or help someone else sell me something. I mean, why else would the Census Bureau want to know my telephone number?"

"Computers may save time but they sure waste a lot of paper. About 98 percent of everything printed out by a computer is garbage that no one ever reads."

"The Super Bowl isn't for kids, I had a great time though and it was worth every nickel of it because by doing this lame piece about the game I can put it on my expense account."

"Computers make it easier to do a lot of things, but most of the things they make it easier to do don't need to be done."

"The average bright young man who is drafted hates the whole business because an army always tries to eliminate the individual differences in men."
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