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"Taxes are important. President Bush's tax proposals leave no rich person behind. Voters approve of President Bush helping the kind of people they wish they were one of."
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"It is not true that people are naturally equal for no two people can be together for even a half an hour without one acquiring an evident superiority over the other."

"There are only two kinds of people who are really fascinating - people who know absolutely everything, and people who know absolutely nothing."

"People do not understand what a great revenue economy is."

"Most people die of a sort of creeping common sense, and discover when it is too late that the only things one never regrets are one's mistakes."

"The real problem is not why some pious, humble, believing people suffer, but why some do not."

"He makes people pleased with him by making them first pleased with themselves."
Explore more quotes by Andy Rooney

"The 50-50-90 rule: Anytime you have a 50-50 chance of getting something right, there's a 90% probability you'll get it wrong."

"People will generally accept facts as truth only if the facts agree with what they already believe."

"I hope all of you are going to fill out your census form when it comes in the mail next month. If you don't return the form the area you live in might get less government money and you wouldn't want that to happen, would you."

"The federal government has sponsored research that has produced a tomato that is perfect in every respect, except that you can't eat it. We should make every effort to make sure this disease, often referred to as 'progress', doesn't spread."

"Most of us end up with no more than five or six people who remember us. Teachers have thousands of people who remember them for the rest of their lives."

"Taxes are important. President Bush's tax proposals leave no rich person behind. Voters approve of President Bush helping the kind of people they wish they were one of."

"Computers make it easier to do a lot of things, but most of the things they make it easier to do don't need to be done."
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