"Morals are nothing but a civilized society's attempt to tame some beast called man."

"One of the reasons God did not make a lover for Himself when He made one for Adam is because He knew that fewer people would take Him seriously once He had an ex."

"Some men do not know the father of 'their' children."

"If we were not impressed by job titles, suits, and jargon, we would demand that financial advisors show us their personal bank statements before they tell us what we could or should do with our own money."

"Most sexually adventurous women want a man who regards cunnilingus as a basic woman right."

"Intellect is the virtue of ignoring one's emotions' attempt to contaminate one's opinions."

"Death would not surprise us as often as it does, if we let go of the misbelief that newborns are less mortal than the elderly."

"Life occasionally humbles us by making us turned on by someone whom we turn off."

"Some people aren't really light-teethed, they're merely dark-skinned."

"We seldom look up to the person, we usually look up to their persona."

"Unbeknown to us, some of the people who we hope are missing us wherever they are do miss us; some miss someone else; and some are dead."

"The name of a great writer is usually bigger than the title of his book. Both literally and figuratively."

"Thanks to the internet, you can provoke thoughts of those in mansions, from the uncomfortableness of your shack."

"Not everything happens for a reason, we claim that it does for a reason: to console ourselves."

"The fact that the person who you are sleeping with is also sleeping with another person or other people does not necessarily mean that he or she does not love you. And the fact that you are the only person who someone is sleeping with does not necessarily mean that he or she loves you."

"The world economy would collapse if a significant number of people were to realize and then act on the realization that it is possible to enjoy many if not most of the things that they enjoy without first having to own them."

"To become richer, earn more. To appear richer, move into a poorer neighborhood."

"Most people believe most of the things they believe only because they believe that most people believe them."

"I am obsessed with not being obsessed with acquiring material things."

"Not every happy person is married, and, Not every married person is happy."

"Most if not all sexually active people do not really love having sex, they merely love experiencing an orgasm every now and then."

"The Paradox of Sustenance: For an organism's life to be continued, another organism's life has to be discontinued."

"Being divorced does not necessarily make one's advice on marriage useless - or useful."

"Absolute freedom is an illusion. For while an employed man might be free from starvation, he is a slave to his employer's financial aspirations, and, working-hours."

"Nothing is as irritating to a shy man as a confident girl."

"Creating is the closest thing to being immortal."

"88% of women love making their first love making incident with a man seem like an accident."

"Unless they are off duty, no matter how wide it is, and even when it is sincere, a smile seems fake if the job description of the person who is smiling includes smiling."

"Employment is slavery. Workers merely have a choice over where to serve their daily eight-hour sentence."

"Technically, according to the notion of the will of God, there is no such a thing as a competent surgeon."

"Being bigheaded can be as irritating and as dangerous as being small-minded."

"We seldom learn much from someone with whom we agree."

"A model's opinion seldom matters. The only time that he is required to open his mouth is when he is required to smile at the camera."

"In a materialistic society, the dead body of a rich man's dog is regarded as a corpse; that of a poor man, a carcass."

"The longer a person's twitter @username is, the harder it is to argue with them - on twitter."

"Other than the promise of life after death, nothing consoles the poor better than the fact that rich people are also subject to death."

"Virginity comes standard. A good head is earned."

"An ID number is only there to 'identify' human beings. Use it to assume people's intellect or wisdom at your own risk."

"Some women do not masturbate for pleasure, they masturbate to make a political statement: to remind us that women do not really need men (or at least not as much and as frequently as every single male chauvinist and every single misogynist believes)."

"The rich are poor without the poor's acknowledgment of money."

"The fact that you have just buried your parent or parents and/or sibling or siblings does not make you less likely to die today."

"Ambition' is 'greed' rebranded."

"Life is a process during which one initially gets less and less dependent, independent, and then more and more dependent."

"You know you made it, when your friends tell their friends that you are their friend."

"Some people's self-esteem was secretly improved when they discovered that their then-lovers had killed themselves over them."

"The kind of lies that someone tells us gives us an idea of how stupid, knowledgeable, intelligent, or ignorant they are - or they think we are."

"Life curses some poor people with the love of luxury, while it blesses some with the very same thing."

"Religion makes people kill each other. Science supplies them with weapons."

"Adults who use big words in order to seem intelligent are annoying, especially those who are not intelligent."

"I tend to avoid people who always have something to say - and those who expect me to always have something to say."