"I wonder when god will get a microchip?"

"If you think that your hardest problem is what color shoes to wear.You should get out more!"

"A hermit never lives alone when he has God as a house guest."

"When you close your eyes and you feel the color, that is when you know that love has entered your heart."

"Sometimes the fastest way down is to jump off a cliff."

"Laugh, and the world laughs with you.Scream, and everyone ignores you."

"When humanity dies, what happens to all the people?"

"You may silence the critics, but you don't silence the pain."

"Every person is an island in the sea of humanity."

"I don't have to touch God to know that he's real."

"R.I.P. Jerry LewisYou made us laugh in life. Now you have a chance to make God and all of his angels laugh too.Take care and I shall see you in the next life."

"I can't give you my beating heart, but I can give you my unconditional love."

"Money!It's all about money!It's all it ever is these days!"

"I stand out not because I am six feet tall,But because I feel six feet tall."

"Who really owns the Earth?Corporations? Governments?Charity Organizations?Or...Should it be the people?You decide!"

"If you're afraid to smile,you're afraid of life."

"Sometimes when you love someone so deeply, that is the thing that hurts the most."

"Dad?" Jesus asked."Yes son?" God replied."Why does man have so many religions?" Jesus asked."It's because they all have different beliefs," God said."Why?" Jesus asked."It's because they have a free mind. It's up to them to choose what they wish to believe in," God said."But, what if they forget about you?" Jesus asked his dad.God replied, "Even though they may forget about me, they will always remember me. Would you ever forget me?" God asked."Never!" said Jesus, "How could I ever forget my father?""Exactly! And so it is for them," God added."

"If you blend in, you don't stand out."

"The world's not getting any stranger.We are!"

"Pink colors my world red!"

"The only reason that the devil can read scripture, is that it was written with him in mind."

"_____________________I'm lost for words."

"I may be very poor, but I'm rich in so many other ways."

"Yellow is the colour of the sun.Blue is the colour of the sky.Green is the colour of grass.Brown is the colour of your eyes.Black is the colour of the night.Orange is the colour of truth.Red is the colour of love.And...Rainbow is the colour of you."

"Be still! Or life will pass you by."

"We spend so long trying to be what other people want,that when we look in the mirror,we see a stranger."

"When the shit hits the fan, you really have to ask yourself why you weren't sitting on the toilet."

"Dad!" Jesus yelled."Yes, son," God said."That star's light just went out," Jesus told his dad."Yes, I know," God replied."But, why?" Jesus asked."Sometimes, a man can become so self obsessed, that the devil seduces him with wealth, power and other worldly delights," God said."But aren't you worried that he will turn all the stars off?" Jesus now asked his dad.God smiled, "No, because for every star that goes out, I just put up another million or so."Jesus looked back at the night sky and sure enough, there were many more stars now. He smiled."

"Just because you haven't got a home, doesn't make you homeless.andJust because you don't have a heart, doesn't make you heartless.Now, does it?"

"When God sprinkled stars in the heavens, he opened our eyes to the wonders of the universe."

"If we fear failure, how then will we handle success?"

"I am haunted by my past and by what I must do to ensure my future."

"She'd stolen my car.She'd stolen my dog.She'd stolen all my money.But if she had only asked, I would have given her it all, because when I first met her, she'd stolen my heart."

"When you walk a tightrope, you don't want to be eating buttered popcorn."

"How can we understand the world and the universe when we haven't even understood ourselves?"

"We grow old without knowing the reason.We build the walls for no good reason.We start the wars for lack of any reason.And we cry foul, when we all knew the real reason.Is it any wonder then, that we do the things we do.When all we have to do, which is hard for a lot of you,Is reason!"

"God would never make man in his image,because that would then make him as vain as what man is."

"When we are born our eyes open onto the world.When we learn the truth about the world we choose to close our eyes to the world around us.And when we die, we open our eyes for that last time to see that in our ignorance, we could have changed the world for all to see."

"Comedians can turn laughter into tears and back again."

"I've always had a love affair with the ocean. It's my one and only true love."

"Understanding what makes you 'tick' isn't half as much fun as finding out what makes you 'tock'!"

"Of course we're guilty!-That's what we've got pardons for!"

"We don't live as God intended us to, but we live as the Devil wants us to."

"A little orange will put a spring into your day."

"It's too late to change the world, but, hopefully it's not too late to change ourselves."

"We give up on life so easily. It's time we stopped and started fighting for it!"

"It's when you smell the breeze, taste the salt and feel the waves beneath your feet that you truly know that you are alive."

"Don't accentuate our differences,but instead focus on our similarities."

"Hatred may last a lifetime, but love is ever lasting."