"When the shit hits the fan, you really have to ask yourself why you weren't sitting on the toilet."

Humor, Reality, Preparedness, Caution

42

Create Your Own Wallpaper

Standard

Customized

"When the shit hits the fan, you really have to ask yourself why you weren't sitting on the toilet."

Exlpore more Humor quotes

"I've accepted the fact I have mental illness but when my imaginary friends start calling me crazy that's where I draw the line."

Stanley Victor Paskavich, American Politician

Humor, Mental, Friend, Imagination

"Got a lot of sinful idears--but they seem kinda sensible."

John Steinbeck, American Author

Humor, Sin, Idea, Truth

"Laughter comes later, like wisdom teeth. And laughter at yourself comes last of all in a mad race with death. And sometimes, it isn't in time."

John Steinbeck, American Author

Humor, Laughter, Wisdom, Mortality

"Never stay up on the barren heights of cleverness, but come down into the green valleys of silliness."

Ludwig Wittgenstein, Austrian Philosopher

Humor, Cleverness

"I wonder what fool it was that first invented kissing."

Jonathan Swift, Irish Writer

Humor, First, Fool, Kissing, Wonder

"If they gave him an enema, he could be buried in a matchbox."

Anonymous, Unknown Unknown

Humor, Death, Sarcasm, Mortality

"Name the greatest of all inventors: Accident."

Mark Twain, American Author

Humor, Accident, Creativity, Surprise

"Pessimist - one who when he has the choice of two evils chooses both."

Oscar Wilde, Irish Dramatist

Humor, Pessimism, Evil, Choice, Irony

"Pardon my French if you're a religious man.''I am,' Bill said, grinning.'Then get outta my cab and go to fucking church,' the cabbie said, and they both burst out laughing."

Stephen King, American Author

Humor, Faith, Truth, Wisdom

"Mr. Bennet, how can you abuse your own children in such a way? Youtake delight in vexing me. You have no compassion for my poor nerves.""You mistake me, my dear. I have a high respect for your nerves. Theyare my old friends. I have heard you mention them with considerationthese last twenty years at least."

Jane Austen, British Writer

Humor, Marriage, Family, Nerves

Explore more quotes by Anthony T. Hincks

"A sequence of random events isn't really random at all. It's just made to look that way so it will ensnare the unwary."

Fate

"LanguageCrickets chirp,Birds sing, Dogs howl,It's their own thing.Cats purr,Mice squeak,Cows moo,It's not what you think.Whales whistle,Dolphins click,Snakes hiss,So listen to this.Sheep baa,Rabbits twitch,If you can't speak,It's only a glitch.A body speaks,Their hands do wave,They're all speaking together,Now don't be so naA ve.It's all a language,Which we don't hear,b\Because it's not our own,What do we care!"

Communication

"Orfanages r fule of little misstakes, just like my Englich."

Learning

"A friend gave me a rainbow as a gift, so I put it up in the sky so everyone could share."

Friendship

"Life is a prison in which we find ourselves."

Life

"I don't have a garden full of flowers.I have a garden full of love."

Love

42

Standard

Customized

Exlpore more Humor quotes

"I've accepted the fact I have mental illness but when my imaginary friends start calling me crazy that's where I draw the line."

"Got a lot of sinful idears--but they seem kinda sensible."

"Laughter comes later, like wisdom teeth. And laughter at yourself comes last of all in a mad race with death. And sometimes, it isn't in time."

"Never stay up on the barren heights of cleverness, but come down into the green valleys of silliness."

"I wonder what fool it was that first invented kissing."

"If they gave him an enema, he could be buried in a matchbox."

"Name the greatest of all inventors: Accident."

"Pessimist - one who when he has the choice of two evils chooses both."

"Pardon my French if you're a religious man.''I am,' Bill said, grinning.'Then get outta my cab and go to fucking church,' the cabbie said, and they both burst out laughing."

Explore more quotes by Anthony T. Hincks

"A sequence of random events isn't really random at all. It's just made to look that way so it will ensnare the unwary."

"The world will go on with or without humanity."

"Your smile carries my heart away every time that I see you."

"A smile is on everyone's lips."

"I refuse to give up on love and I refuse to lay down and die."

"Orfanages r fule of little misstakes, just like my Englich."

"A friend gave me a rainbow as a gift, so I put it up in the sky so everyone could share."

"Life is a prison in which we find ourselves."

"I don't have a garden full of flowers.I have a garden full of love."