"Artemis felt like he was six again and caught hacking the school computers trying to make the test questions harder."

Childhood, Youth, Humor, Reflection, Learning

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"Artemis felt like he was six again and caught hacking the school computers trying to make the test questions harder."

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"For her next birthday she'd asked for a telescope. Her mother had been alive then, and had suggested a pony, but her father had laughed and bought her a beautiful telescope, saying: "Of course she should watch the stars! Any girl who cannot identify the constellation of Orion just isn't paying attention!" And when she started asking him complicated questions, he took her along to lectures at the Royal Society, where it turned out that a nine-year-old girl who had blond hair and knew what the precession of the equinoxes was could ask hugely bearded famous scientists anything she liked. Who'd want a pony when you could have the whole universe?"

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"Magrat liked to think she was good with children, and worried that she wasn't. She didn't like them very much, and worried about this too. Nanny Ogg seemed to be effortlessly good with children by alternately and randomly giving them either a sweet or a thick ear, while Granny Weatherwax ignored them for most of the time and that seemed to work just as well."

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"Gingerbread houseswith gumdrops and peppermintand marshmallow snow."

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Explore more quotes by Eoin Colfer

"Artemis: 'Right, brothers. Onward. Imagine yourself seated at a cafe in Montmartre.'Myles: 'In Paris.'Artemis: 'Yes, Paris. And try as you will, you cannot attract the waiter's attention. What do you do?'Beckett: 'Umm...tell Butler to jump-jump-jump on his head?'Myles: 'I agree with simple-toon.'Artemis: 'No! You simply raise one finger and say clearly 'ici, garcon.'Beckett: 'Itchy what?"

Wit

"Naturally, we lunatics are the kindest of the bunch."

Humanity

"In my experience, boys are predictable. As soon as they think of something, they do it. Girls are smarter-they plan ahead. They think about not getting caught."

Awareness

"The thing about a diversion is that it has to be diverting."

Observation

"Well, young man, have you found anyone worthy of your respect?'Artemis smiled back. 'Yes,' he said. 'I believe I have."

Respect

"It was no time for mercy, it was time to terminate with extreme prejudice."

Warfare

"He had seen bigger men than he with mummy's handkerchief clutched in on hand and a bloody dagger in the other."

Contrast

"Young love is common, but that doesn't mean it's not precious."

Romance

"Really, I'm trying to care, Artemis, really. But I thought it was all supposed to be over when the fat lady sings. Well, she's singing, but it doesn't appear to be over."

Expectation

"I am charging you with the protection of my mother and friends, not to mention keeping my younger self off the Internet. He is as dangerous as Opal."

Protection