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"Most of us end up with no more than five or six people who remember us. Teachers have thousands of people who remember them for the rest of their lives."
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"The last resort of kings, the cannonball. The last resort of the people, the paving stone."
"It is not true that people are naturally equal for no two people can be together for even a half an hour without one acquiring an evident superiority over the other."
"There are bad people who would be less dangerous if they were quite devoid of goodness."
"Whatever good things people say of us, they tell us nothing new."
"There are only two kinds of people who are really fascinating - people who know absolutely everything, and people who know absolutely nothing."
"We confess our little faults to persuade people that we have no large ones."
"Historians are like deaf people who go on answering questions that no one has asked them."
Explore more quotes by Andy Rooney
"The Super Bowl isn't for kids, I had a great time though and it was worth every nickel of it because by doing this lame piece about the game I can put it on my expense account."
"I just wish we knew a little less about his urethra and a little more about his arms sales to Iran."
"Computers make it easier to do a lot of things, but most of the things they make it easier to do don't need to be done."
"The only people who say worse things about politicians that reporters do are other politicians."
"I don't like food that's too carefully arranged; it makes me think that the chef is spending too much time arranging and not enough time cooking. If I wanted a picture I'd buy a painting."
"We're all proud of making little mistakes. It gives us the feeling we don't make any big ones."
"The average bright young man who is drafted hates the whole business because an army always tries to eliminate the individual differences in men."
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