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"The only way the French are going in is if we tell them we found truffles in Iraq."
Iraq,
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"The kind of Iraq that emerges from all of this is ultimately out of our hands."
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Personal Development
"We know that there are various activities important to the insurgents in Iraq that are occurring in Syria."
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Personal Development
"I said I'm the president of Iraq... I did not say deposed."
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Personal Development
"Well, I've been to Iraq twice now. I was in Baghdad in June and then north of Baghdad in November."
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Personal Development
"We have defeated Saddam Hussein and Iraq. The good news is Iraq is ours, and the bad news is Iraq is ours."
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Personal Development
"Iraq's elite Republican Guard is doing so badly they're changing their name to the Democratic Guard."
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Personal Development
"After all, we paid great prices because of the virtual partitioning of Iraq."
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Personal Development
"The only way the French are going in is if we tell them we found truffles in Iraq."
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Personal Development
"Iraq is not occupied, but there are foreign forces on its soil, which is different."
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Personal Development
"The U.S. couldn't even get rid of Saddam Hussein. And we all know that the EU is just a passing fad. They'll be killing each other again in less than a year. I'm sick to death of all these fascist lawsuits."
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"You know there is a problem with the education system when you realize that out of the 3 R's only one begins with an R."
Education
"Just put down 9/11... I think, on most things I'm liberal, except on defending ourselves and keeping half the money. Those things I'm kind of conservative on."
Money
"The average American's day planner has fewer holes in it than Ray Charles's dart board."
American
"The death penalty is becoming a way of life in this country."
Death
"A new poll shows that Senator Kerry's support in the South is strongest amongst blacks. Kerry's appeal to Southern blacks is obvious. He is a white man who lives far, far away."
Man
"Human beings are human beings. They say what they want, don't they? They used to say it across the fence while they were hanging wash. Now they just say it on the Internet."
Internet
"Liberals should not overplay this weapons of mass destruction card, because you want me to tell you the truth? Most of us are not going to care if they don't find these weapons of mass destruction. It's enough for a lot of us to see those kids smiling on that street again."
Truth
"What's so touching is the way we fight the war right until the moment our business is taken care of and then we turn on a dime and we immediately start taking care of people. It's like a shock and aw shucks campaign."
Business
"Born again?! No, I'm not. Excuse me for getting it right the first time."
Time
"I'm a comedian, for God's sake. Viewers shouldn't trust me. And you know what? They're hip enough to know they shouldn't trust me. I'm just doing stand-up comedy."
Trust
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