"The only way the French are going in is if we tell them we found truffles in Iraq."

Iraq,

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"The only way the French are going in is if we tell them we found truffles in Iraq."

Exlpore more Iraq quotes

"Iraq's elite Republican Guard is doing so badly they're changing their name to the Democratic Guard."

David Letterman, American Comedian

Iraq, Name, Republican

"Iraq now says that it will, after all, destroy its missiles. President Bush said, 'Please, I used to pull the same trick. There'd be an intervention, I'd make a big show of pouring out the liquor and then there was a case under the floorboards.'"

Bill Maher, American Comedian

Iraq, Liquor, Now, President

"We know that there are various activities important to the insurgents in Iraq that are occurring in Syria."

Douglas Feith, American Public Servant

Iraq,

"We have defeated Saddam Hussein and Iraq. The good news is Iraq is ours, and the bad news is Iraq is ours."

David Letterman, American Comedian

Iraq, News

"The U.S. couldn't even get rid of Saddam Hussein. And we all know that the EU is just a passing fad. They'll be killing each other again in less than a year. I'm sick to death of all these fascist lawsuits."

Bill Gates, American Businessman

Iraq, Death, Killing

"We are tangled in a very significant Islamic insurgency in Iraq."

Michael Scheuer, American Public Servant

Iraq,

"I think the disarmament of Iraq is inevitable."

Douglas Feith, American Public Servant

Iraq,

"The Bush administration said today there is a lot of support for us to attack Iraq. Exxon, Mobil, Texaco, Chevron, they're all lining up."

Jay Leno, American Comedian

Iraq, Support, Today

"I said I'm the president of Iraq... I did not say deposed."

Saddam Hussein, Iraqi Criminal

Iraq, President

"We are succeeding in Iraq. It's a tough struggle with setbacks, but we are succeeding."

Iyad Allawi, Iraqi Statesman

Iraq, Struggle

Explore more quotes by Dennis Miller

"There's nothing wrong with being shallow as long as you're insightful about it."

Being

"What is guilt? Guilt is the pledge drive constantly hammering in our heads that keeps us from fully enjoying the show. Guilt is the reason they put the articles in Playboy."

Guilt

"Human beings are human beings. They say what they want, don't they? They used to say it across the fence while they were hanging wash. Now they just say it on the Internet."

Internet

"Washington, DC is to lying what Wisconsin is to cheese."

Lying

"I'm like Bush, I see the world more like checkers than chess."

Chess

"Just put down 9/11... I think, on most things I'm liberal, except on defending ourselves and keeping half the money. Those things I'm kind of conservative on."

Money

"The radical right is so homophobic that they're blaming global warming on the AIDS quilt."

Global warming

"President Bush gave his first-ever presidential radio address in both English and Spanish. Reaction was mixed, however, as people were trying to figure out which one was which."

People

"A new poll shows that Senator Kerry's support in the South is strongest amongst blacks. Kerry's appeal to Southern blacks is obvious. He is a white man who lives far, far away."

Man

"You know there is a problem with the education system when you realize that out of the 3 R's only one begins with an R."

Education