"The only way the French are going in is if we tell them we found truffles in Iraq."

Iraq,

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"The only way the French are going in is if we tell them we found truffles in Iraq."

Exlpore more Iraq quotes

"Iraq's elite Republican Guard is doing so badly they're changing their name to the Democratic Guard."

David Letterman, American Comedian

Iraq, Name, Republican

"Iraq now says that it will, after all, destroy its missiles. President Bush said, 'Please, I used to pull the same trick. There'd be an intervention, I'd make a big show of pouring out the liquor and then there was a case under the floorboards.'"

Bill Maher, American Comedian

Iraq, Liquor, Now, President

"We have defeated Saddam Hussein and Iraq. The good news is Iraq is ours, and the bad news is Iraq is ours."

David Letterman, American Comedian

Iraq, News

"Well, I've been to Iraq twice now. I was in Baghdad in June and then north of Baghdad in November."

Gary Sinise, American Actor

Iraq, June, Now

"We are tangled in a very significant Islamic insurgency in Iraq."

Michael Scheuer, American Public Servant

Iraq,

"After all, we paid great prices because of the virtual partitioning of Iraq."

Bulent Ecevit, Turkish Politician

Iraq,

"I said I'm the president of Iraq... I did not say deposed."

Saddam Hussein, Iraqi Criminal

Iraq, President

"George W. Bush and Tony Blair had to convince the world that Saddam Hussein represented an imminent threat. Tony Blair lied when he claimed that Iraq could launch a chemical or biological attack within 45 minutes."

Bianca Jagger, Nicaraguan Celebrity

Iraq, World

"Iraq is not occupied, but there are foreign forces on its soil, which is different."

Jalal Talabani, Iraqi Politician

Iraq,

"The Bush administration said today there is a lot of support for us to attack Iraq. Exxon, Mobil, Texaco, Chevron, they're all lining up."

Jay Leno, American Comedian

Iraq, Support, Today

Explore more quotes by Dennis Miller

"The average American's day planner has fewer holes in it than Ray Charles's dart board."

American

"A recent police study found that you're much more likely to get shot by a fat cop if you run."

Police

"The death penalty is becoming a way of life in this country."

Death

"What is guilt? Guilt is the pledge drive constantly hammering in our heads that keeps us from fully enjoying the show. Guilt is the reason they put the articles in Playboy."

Guilt

"You've got bad eating habits if you use a grocery cart in 7-Eleven."

Eating

"Police in Washington D.C. are now using cameras to catch drivers who go through red lights. Many congressmen this week opposed the use of the red light cameras incorrectly assuming they were being used for surveillance at local brothels."

Being

"Born again?! No, I'm not. Excuse me for getting it right the first time."

Time

"Elected office holds more perks than Elvis' nightstand."

Office

"Human beings are human beings. They say what they want, don't they? They used to say it across the fence while they were hanging wash. Now they just say it on the Internet."

Internet

"I'm a comedian, for God's sake. Viewers shouldn't trust me. And you know what? They're hip enough to know they shouldn't trust me. I'm just doing stand-up comedy."

Trust