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Steven Wright

"A lot of people are afraid of heights. Not me, I'm afraid of widths."

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"A lot of people are afraid of heights. Not me, I'm afraid of widths."

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Amber Hurdle

"A lot of people got lost in Hollywood while trying to become a star. They lost themselves."

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Amber Hurdle

"First, this isn't about telecommuting, because we still have offices that people will come to regularly when they need to brainstorm together, meet with clients, or do research in the library."

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Amber Hurdle

"People think that child-support enforcement benefits children, but it doesn't."

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Amber Hurdle

"I am not for raising taxes on the American people in a soft economy."

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Amber Hurdle

"The Obama administration has now taken exactly the same position as the Bush administration. I don't see how you can keep people from knowing who visits the White House and adhere to a policy of openness and transparency."

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Amber Hurdle

"I do think you feel a little bit like you are preying on people's lives."

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Amber Hurdle

"Processed pig is white trash meat. Some people call it Spam."

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Amber Hurdle

"The next release of mainline is going to have a lot of the advanced features people want, by the way."

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Amber Hurdle

"People don't want their lives fixed. Nobody wants their problems solved. Their dramas. Their distractions. Their stories resolved. Their messed cleaned up. Because what would they have left? Just the big scary unknown."

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Amber Hurdle

"You're trying to find new ideas in people. I always think to myself, what question I am least comfortable asking the person? And then I make sure I ask it early in the interview."

Explore more quotes by Steven Wright

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Steven Wright
"If a man says something in the woods and there are no women there, is he still wrong?"
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Steven Wright
"I just got out of the hospital. I was in a speed reading accident. I hit a book mark and flew across the room."
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Steven Wright
"I stayed up all night playing poker with tarot cards. I got a full house and four people died."
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Steven Wright
"Why isn't the word 'phonetically spelled with an 'f?"
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Steven Wright
"I'd kill for a Nobel Peace Prize."
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Steven Wright
"The Bermuda Triangle got tired of warm weather. It moved to Alaska. Now Santa Claus is missing."
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Steven Wright
"I couldn't repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder."
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Steven Wright
"When I turned two I was really anxious, because I'd doubled my age in a year.I thought, if this keeps up, by the time I'm six I'll be ninety."
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Steven Wright
"I paint; I draw and paint - I've been doing that since I was in third grade, drawing realistically and then changing to abstract art. That was my first creative thing before guitar or comedy."
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Steven Wright
"People may think I'm trying something new by telling stories, but they're just jokes connected to give the illusion of stories. But really, I just continue using my imagination and creating. That's what I do."
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