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Steven Wright

"I don't like politicians, and I don't like politics. I definitely don't want to be associated with any of them."

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"I don't like politicians, and I don't like politics. I definitely don't want to be associated with any of them."

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Amber Hurdle

"Democracy, freedom and liberty do not make us more than what we are; it is our commitment that matters."

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Amber Hurdle

"A market where chief executive officers make 262 times that of the average worker and 821 times that of the minimum-wage worker is not a market that is working well. And it is surely not working well enough to build a solid middle class."

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Amber Hurdle

"There is no gambling like politics."

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Amber Hurdle

"A politician will promise the moon but deliver an ant hill."

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Amber Hurdle

"Politics doesn't corrupt people, people corrupt politics."

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Amber Hurdle

"Mix carefully truth and deceit, you have politics."

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Amber Hurdle

"The British have always coped without becoming a dictatorship."

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Amber Hurdle

"Almost everyone in politics nowadays has at least one conflict of interest."

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Amber Hurdle

"They are now informing me that not only are they better than the powerful, the masters of the world whose spittle they have to lick (not from fear, not at all from fear! but because God orders them to honour those in authority) " not only are they better, but they have a "better time, or at least will have a better time one day. But enough! enough! I can't bear it any longer. Bad air! Bad air! This workshop where ideals are fabricated " it seems to me just to stink of lies."

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Steven Wright
"A lot of people are afraid of heights. Not me, I'm afraid of widths."
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Steven Wright
"If at first you don't succeed then skydiving definitely isn't for you."
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Steven Wright
"If a man says something in the woods and there are no women there, is he still wrong?"
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Steven Wright
"I just got out of the hospital. I was in a speed reading accident. I hit a book mark and flew across the room."
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Steven Wright
"I stayed up all night playing poker with tarot cards. I got a full house and four people died."
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Steven Wright
"Why isn't the word 'phonetically spelled with an 'f?"
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Steven Wright
"I'd kill for a Nobel Peace Prize."
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Steven Wright
"Shin: a device for finding furniture in the dark."
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Steven Wright
"If a mute kid swears, should his mother wash his hands with soap?"
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Steven Wright
"When I was 16... I worked in a pet store. And they fired me because... they had three snakes in there, and one day I braided them."
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