"Arguing with my wife is like this: "I came! I saw! I concurred!""

Humor, Argument, Wife, Speech

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"Arguing with my wife is like this: "I came! I saw! I concurred!""

Exlpore more Humor quotes

"Fool me once, shame on youfool me twice, shame on mefool me thrice, I'm gonna get the frying pan!"

Anthony Liccione, American Author

Humor, Trust, Mistake, Learning

"As a comedian, the more you commit the sin of stupidity, three essential things happen to your life:~people applaud you incessantly.~love you more than their parents.~give you a daily bread."

Michael Bassey Johnson, Nigerian Philosopher

Humor, Comedy, Stupidity, Life, Love

"My religion consists of laughing at myself. My motto is this: As long as there is a me, there is a reason to laugh out loud!"

C. JoyBell C., American Author

Humor, Self, Life, Joy

"Well, that depends, I suppose. I heard someone once say that men dance the same way they have sex. So, if you want everyone here to think you're the kind of guy who just sits around and-" He stood up. "Let's dance."

Richelle Mead, American Author

Humor, Dance, Sex, Judgment

"Always be wary of any helpful item that weighs less than its operating manual."

Terry Pratchett, English Author

Humor, Weight, Warning, Technology

"I was my own boss, but that all changed the day I got married."

Matshona Dhliwayo, Zimbabwean Philosopher

Humor, Marriage, Change, Responsibility, Life

"Could you hold the chainsaw a bit closer to your mouth, please?"

Chuck Palahniuk, American Novelist

Humor, Death, Danger, Irony

"Unless you stop him. Perhaps next we meet.""You'll be just as annoying?" I guessed.He fixed my with those warm brown eyes. "Or perhaps you could bring me up to speed on those modern courtship rituals."I sat there stunned until he gave me a glimpse of a smile-just enough to let me know he was teasing. Then he disappeared."Oh, very funny!" I yelled."

Rick Riordan, American Novelist

Humor, Truth, Happiness, Power

"Don't ask for a girl's hand in marriage and forget to ask for her leg too."

Matshona Dhliwayo, Zimbabwean Philosopher

Humor, Marriage, Leg, Respect

"Papa, potatoes, poultry, prunes and prism, are all very good words for the lips."

Charles Dickens, English Novelist

Humor, Words

Explore more quotes by Anonymous

"When you go to your knees God will help you stand up to anything."

Spiritual, Prayer, Strength, God, Support

"A person of little knowledge Grows old as a plough-ox grows old.His fleshes increases, His wisdom does not increase."

Wisdom, Knowledge, Age, Growth

"That whosoever believeth in him should not perish, but have eternal life."

Spiritual, Belief, Life, Faith

"Much learning doth make thee mad."

Truth, Learning, Madness, Knowledge, Mind

"God bless me and my son John Me and my wife him and his wife Us four and no more."

Family, Faith, Unity

"It was only a sunny smile But it scattered the night And little it cost in the giving Like morning light And made the day worth living."

Emotional, Smile, Happiness, Joy, Kindness

"When life throws a lemon at you, you throw it straight back at life and miss completely. That's my logic."

Humor, Logic, Life

"Asking for anything is allowed with the understanding that God's answers come from God's perspective. They are not always in harmony with our expectations for only He knows the whole story."

Spiritual, God, Expectations, Perspective, Faith

"One who utters speech that isn't rough But instructive and truthfulSo that he offends no one, Him I call Brahmin."

Communication, Speech, Truth, Respect

"An atheist's response to a creationist asking 'what if' there was a God,That would be quite an unsettling thought."

Spiritual, God, Question, Thought, Faith