"I was going to have cosmetic surgery until I noticed that the doctor's office was full of portraits by Picasso."

Office, Portraits

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"I was going to have cosmetic surgery until I noticed that the doctor's office was full of portraits by Picasso."

Exlpore more Office quotes

"If you win the Oscar, you get to go into just about anybody's office for a month."

Chris Wedge, American Director

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"There are no favorites in my office. I treat them all with the same general inconsideration."

Lyndon B. Johnson, American President

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"I think there is one higher office than president and I would call that patriot."

Gary Hart, American Politician

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"When we got into office, the thing that surprised me most was to find that things were just as bad as we'd been saying they were."

John F. Kennedy, American President

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"A bureaucrat is a Democrat who holds some office that a Republican wants."

Harry S. Truman, American President

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"Reason is, and ought only to be the slave of the passions, and can never pretend to any other office than to serve and obey them."

David Hume, Scottish Philosopher

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"It must be a terrible pressure to have to go to the office."

Jilly Cooper, British Author

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"I wake about 1 a.m. I'm in the office by 2 a.m. We're on the air at 5."

Bob Edwards, American Journalist

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"I will undoubtedly have to seek what is happily known as gainful employment, which I am glad to say does not describe holding public office."

Dean Acheson, American Statesman

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"I wanted a theory that would allow one to live outside the office with the same philosophy one uses inside it."

Kenneth L. Pike, American Sociologist

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Explore more quotes by Rita Rudner

"Marriages don't last. When I meet a guy, the first question I ask myself is: is this the man I want my children to spend their weekends with?"

Children

"I love to shop after a bad relationship. I don't know. I buy a new outfit and it makes me feel better. It just does. Sometimes I see a really great outfit, I'll break up with someone on purpose."

Love

"When I eventually met Mr. Right I had no idea that his first name was Always."

Idea

"The time you spend grieving over a man should never exceed the amount of time you actually spent with him."

Time

"The word 'aerobics' came about when the gym instructors got together and said: If we're going to charge $10 an hour, we can't call it Jumping up and down."

Word

"Men reach their sexual peak at eighteen. Women reach theirs at thirty-five. Do you get the feeling that God is playing a practical joke?"

Men

"I know I want to have children while my parents are still young enough to take care of them."

Care

"It's so great to find that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life."

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"I love being married. It's so great to find that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life."

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"My husband gave me a necklace. It's fake. I requested fake. Maybe I'm paranoid, but in this day and age, I don't want something around my neck that's worth more than my head."

Age