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"I was going to have cosmetic surgery until I noticed that the doctor's office was full of portraits by Picasso."
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"To attract men, I wear a perfume called "New Car Interior.""
Car
"Someday I want to be rich. Some people get so rich they lose all respect for humanity. That's how rich I want to be."
People
"Some people think having large breasts makes a woman stupid. Actually, it's quite the opposite: a woman having large breasts makes men stupid."
Men
"Men who have a pierced ear are better prepared for marriage - they've experienced pain and bought jewelry."
Marriage
"Marriages don't last. When I meet a guy, the first question I ask myself is: is this the man I want my children to spend their weekends with?"
Children
"The time you spend grieving over a man should never exceed the amount of time you actually spent with him."
Time
"I love to shop after a bad relationship. I don't know. I buy a new outfit and it makes me feel better. It just does. Sometimes I see a really great outfit, I'll break up with someone on purpose."
Love
"Most turkeys taste better the day after, my mother's tasted better the day before."
Mother
"Some women hold up dresses that are so ugly and they always say the same thing: 'This looks much better on.' On what? On fire?"
Woman
"I think men who have a pierced ear are better prepared for marriage. They've experienced pain and bought jewelry."
Men
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"When we got into office, the thing that surprised me most was to find that things were just as bad as we'd been saying they were."
Author Name
Personal Development
"There are no favorites in my office. I treat them all with the same general inconsideration."
Author Name
Personal Development
"A bureaucrat is a Democrat who holds some office that a Republican wants."
Author Name
Personal Development
"To some degree it matters who's in office, but it matters more how much pressure they're under from the public."
Author Name
Personal Development
"Films must all have the same structure. All of this to guarantee box office bonanza, which of course it never does, but that's another discussion entirely."
Author Name
Personal Development
"Well, that's the - the removal from office and removal of the Ten Commandments were two different issues."
Author Name
Personal Development
"It's all about putting the best team together - not just in the front office but the players on the field."
Author Name
Personal Development
"Know which officials are voted into office and which are appointed, and by whom."
Author Name
Personal Development
"Look at the number of cop shows and lawyer shows and forensics shows... I think there could be room for two quite different examinations of the same political office."
Author Name
Personal Development
"Know the official post office abbreviations for all 50 states without having to consult a list."
Author Name
Personal Development
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