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"I was going to have cosmetic surgery until I noticed that the doctor's office was full of portraits by Picasso."
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"There are no favorites in my office. I treat them all with the same general inconsideration."
"Not once in six years did I make it to the office by 9 on the dot."
"I wake about 1 a.m. I'm in the office by 2 a.m. We're on the air at 5."
"A bureaucrat is a Democrat who holds some office that a Republican wants."
"It must be a terrible pressure to have to go to the office."
"Know which officials are voted into office and which are appointed, and by whom."
"When we got into office, the thing that surprised me most was to find that things were just as bad as we'd been saying they were."
"I wanted a theory that would allow one to live outside the office with the same philosophy one uses inside it."
Explore more quotes by Rita Rudner
"Whenever I date a guy, I think, 'Is this the man I want my children to spend their weekends with?'"
"Someday I want to be rich. Some people get so rich they lose all respect for humanity. That's how rich I want to be."
"I love being married. It's so great to find that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life."
"Men who have a pierced ear are better prepared for marriage - they've experienced pain and bought jewelry."
"My husband gave me a necklace. It's fake. I requested fake. Maybe I'm paranoid, but in this day and age, I don't want something around my neck that's worth more than my head."
"The time you spend grieving over a man should never exceed the amount of time you actually spent with him."
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