"He and I had an office so tiny that an inch smaller and it would have been adultery."

Humor, Space, Observation, Affection

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"He and I had an office so tiny that an inch smaller and it would have been adultery."

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"Your sarcasm and general assholeness are not necessary, Apollo remarked casually.I grinned at him. "I don't think 'assholeness' is a word."It is if I say it is. Apollo drew in a deep breath, a sure sign his temper was reaching its knock-Seth-into-the-nearby-ocean point."

Jennifer L. Armentrout, American Author

Humor, Conflict, Speech, Temper

"Don't interrupt me while I'm interrupting."

Winston Churchill, English Statesman

Humor, Communication, Life, Patience

"If it weren't for the last minute nothing would get done."

Anonymous, Unknown Unknown

Humor, Procrastination, Delay, Action

"And if I talk to him, I'll say something wrong, give something away. I can feel it coming, a betrayal of myself."

Margaret Atwood, Canadian Novelist

Humor, Escape, Solitude, Space, Privacy

"Aw, you're nothing but heart, Mako. Nice valentine in your skull, by the way. Is that temporary or did the Tanaka-kai change their daimon to attract the Powerpuff Girls crowd?"

Elle Lothlorien, American Novelist

Humor, Observation, Social, Interaction

"This was not of the nature of a Christlike lesson for Owen Meany to learn, as he lay in the manger, that someone you hate can give you a hard-on."

John Irving, American Novelist

Humor, Observation, Religion, Truth

"Vengeance was one hell of a roommate."

J.R. Ward, American Author

Humor, Conflict, Observation, Personality

"Cheap booze is a false economy."

Christopher Hitchens, American Author

Humor, Economy, Choice, Alcohol

"Sergeant Colon of the Ankh-Morpork City Guard was on duty. He was guarding the Brass Bridge, the main link between Ankh and Morpork. From theft.When it came to crime prevention, Sergeant Colon found it safest to think big."

Terry Pratchett, English Author

Humor, Crime, Duty, Irony

"Humor is merely tragedy standing on its head with its pants torn."

Irvin S. Cobb, American Journalist

Humor, Tragedy

Explore more quotes by Dorothy Parker

"And there was that poor sucker Flaubert rolling around on his floor for three days looking for the right word."

Creativity

"This wasn't just plain terrible, this was fancy terrible. This was terrible with raisins in it."

Humor

"My love runs by like a day in June, And he makes no friends of sorrows. He'll tread his galloping rigadoon In the pathway of the morrows. He'll live his days where the sunbeams start, Nor could storm or wind uproot him. My own dear love, he is all my heart, -- And I wish somebody'd shoot him."

Romance

"I never see that prettiest thing-A cherry bough gone white with Spring-But what I think, 'How gay 'twould beTo hang me from a flowering tree."

Poetry

"Some men break your heart in two,Some men fawn and flatter,Some men never look at you;And that cleans up the matter."

Heartbreak

"Wit has truth in it wisecracking is simply calisthenics with words."

Philosophy

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Exlpore more Humor quotes

"Your sarcasm and general assholeness are not necessary, Apollo remarked casually.I grinned at him. "I don't think 'assholeness' is a word."It is if I say it is. Apollo drew in a deep breath, a sure sign his temper was reaching its knock-Seth-into-the-nearby-ocean point."

"Don't interrupt me while I'm interrupting."

"If it weren't for the last minute nothing would get done."

"And if I talk to him, I'll say something wrong, give something away. I can feel it coming, a betrayal of myself."

"Aw, you're nothing but heart, Mako. Nice valentine in your skull, by the way. Is that temporary or did the Tanaka-kai change their daimon to attract the Powerpuff Girls crowd?"

"This was not of the nature of a Christlike lesson for Owen Meany to learn, as he lay in the manger, that someone you hate can give you a hard-on."

"Vengeance was one hell of a roommate."

"Cheap booze is a false economy."

"Sergeant Colon of the Ankh-Morpork City Guard was on duty. He was guarding the Brass Bridge, the main link between Ankh and Morpork. From theft.When it came to crime prevention, Sergeant Colon found it safest to think big."

"Humor is merely tragedy standing on its head with its pants torn."

Explore more quotes by Dorothy Parker

"And there was that poor sucker Flaubert rolling around on his floor for three days looking for the right word."

"This wasn't just plain terrible, this was fancy terrible. This was terrible with raisins in it."

"Where's the man that could ease a heart like a satin gown?"

"Tomorrow's gone-we'll have tonight!"

"Money cannot buy health, but I'd settle for a diamond-studdedwheelchair."

"They sicken of calm who know the storm."

"My love runs by like a day in June, And he makes no friends of sorrows. He'll tread his galloping rigadoon In the pathway of the morrows. He'll live his days where the sunbeams start, Nor could storm or wind uproot him. My own dear love, he is all my heart, -- And I wish somebody'd shoot him."

"I never see that prettiest thing-A cherry bough gone white with Spring-But what I think, 'How gay 'twould beTo hang me from a flowering tree."

"Some men break your heart in two,Some men fawn and flatter,Some men never look at you;And that cleans up the matter."

"Wit has truth in it wisecracking is simply calisthenics with words."