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George Carlin

"I think it would be interesting if old people got anti-Alzheimer's disease where they slowly began to recover other people's lost memories."

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"I think it would be interesting if old people got anti-Alzheimer's disease where they slowly began to recover other people's lost memories."

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Amber Hurdle

"The Edge... there is no honest way to explain it because the only people who really know where it is are the ones who have gone over."

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Amber Hurdle

"For us in Russia communism is a dead dog. For many people in the West, it is still a living lion."

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Amber Hurdle

"What had begun as a movement to free all black people from racist oppression became a movement with its primary goal the establishment of black male patriarchy."

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Amber Hurdle

"They're talking about banning cigarette smoking now in any place that's used by ten or more people in a week, which, I guess, means that Madonna can't even smoke in bed."

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Amber Hurdle

"Let's make a law that gay people can have birthdays, but straight people get more cake - you know, to send the right message to kids."

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Amber Hurdle

"The tea baggers. The one thing they hate is when you call them racist. The other thing they hate is black people. But they won't say it."

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Amber Hurdle

"Good-looking people with strong, fluoridated teeth get things handed to them on platters."

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Amber Hurdle

"I don't want my books to exclude anyone, but if they have to, then I would rather they excluded the people who feel they are too smart for them!"

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Amber Hurdle

"With Google I'm starting to burn out on knowing the answer to everything. People in the year 2020 are going to be nostalgic for the sensation of feeling clueless."

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Amber Hurdle

"Most people never run far enough on their first wind to find out they've got a second."

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George Carlin
"He - and if there is a God, I am convinced he is a he, because no woman could or would ever fuck things up this badly."
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George Carlin
"I'm not concerned about all hell breaking loose, but that a PART of hell will break loose... it'll be much harder to detect."
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George Carlin
"Religion is just mind control."
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George Carlin
"May the forces of evil become confused on the way to your house."
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George Carlin
"I think people should be allowed to do anything they want. We haven't tried that for a while. Maybe this time it'll work."
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George Carlin
"Most people work just hard enough not to get fired and get paid just enough money not to quit."
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George Carlin
"I do this real moron thing, and it's called thinking. And apparently I'm not a very good American because I like to form my own opinions."
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George Carlin
"I'm not a person who thinks they can have it all, but I certainly feel that with a bit of effort and guile I should be able to have more than my fair share."
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George Carlin
"How is it possible to have a civil war?"
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George Carlin
"I like it when a flower or a little tuft of grass grows through a crack in the concrete. It's so fuckin' heroic."
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