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Steven Wright

"The other night I was lying in bed, looking up at the stars, and I wondered, 'Where the hell is my roof?"

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"The other night I was lying in bed, looking up at the stars, and I wondered, 'Where the hell is my roof?"

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Amber Hurdle

"Solitude is a wonderful treasure the world is still yet to discover."

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Amber Hurdle

"If you don't monitor your life, you will regret it. If you don't measure your life, you will regret it."

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Amber Hurdle

"Always ask yourself what you have achieved within a given time and the product of your life."

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Amber Hurdle

"Neglect is a major reason for some of the most painful experiences we suffer in life."

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Amber Hurdle

"Society has got a lot of activities and attractions to steal your time and to make you think less about your diminishing life."

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Amber Hurdle

"It's a pity that majority of people on earth are either not measuring their lives at all or are measuring their lives by just one product a year."

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Amber Hurdle

"The question "who am I" is the first question that every person should ask himself."

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Amber Hurdle

"The past could be jettisoned . . . but seeds got carried."

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Amber Hurdle

"The principles you pursue becomes a worth when it reflects."

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Amber Hurdle

"That life is simply a collection of little lives, each lived one day at a time. That each day should be spent finding beauty in flowers and poetry and talking to animals. That a day spent with dreaming and sunsets and refreshing breezes cannot be bettered. But most of all, I learned that life is about sitting on benches next to ancient creeks with my hand on her knee and sometimes, on good days, for falling in love."

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"A lot of people are afraid of heights. Not me, I'm afraid of widths."
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"If at first you don't succeed then skydiving definitely isn't for you."
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"If a man says something in the woods and there are no women there, is he still wrong?"
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"I just got out of the hospital. I was in a speed reading accident. I hit a book mark and flew across the room."
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"I stayed up all night playing poker with tarot cards. I got a full house and four people died."
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"Why isn't the word 'phonetically spelled with an 'f?"
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Steven Wright
"I'd kill for a Nobel Peace Prize."
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Steven Wright
"I don't like politicians, and I don't like politics. I definitely don't want to be associated with any of them."
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Steven Wright
"Shin: a device for finding furniture in the dark."
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Steven Wright
"If a mute kid swears, should his mother wash his hands with soap?"
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