top of page
Quote_1.png
Steven Wright

"I went down the street to the 24-hour grocery. When I got there, the guy was locking the front door. I said, 'Hey, the sign says you're open 24 hours.' He said, 'Yes, but not in a row.'"

Standard 
 Customized
"I went down the street to the 24-hour grocery. When I got there, the guy was locking the front door. I said, 'Hey, the sign says you're open 24 hours.' He said, 'Yes, but not in a row.'"

Exlpore more Open quotes

Quote_1.png
Donna Grant

"By all means let's be open-minded, but not so open-minded that our brains drop out."

Quote_1.png
Donna Grant

"A duck's nest was found today near the trail on the dry open prairie with as far as could be seen no water or marsh near. The bird flew off but could not tell what species. The eggs nine originally."

Quote_1.png
Donna Grant

"If I become defensive and upset right away, then that's going to adversely affect how I deal with it and it's probably not going to be good press for me and probably be bad just because I'm angry. Just be open and pleasant."

Quote_1.png
Donna Grant

"Even if the Bush Administration had flung open the gates to stem-cell research years ago, we would not be at the point of offering treatment today. Christopher Reeve would still have been taken from us. But we would be closer."

Quote_1.png
Donna Grant

"This means keeping many trails open at once, inevitably requiring a fairly 'parallel' plot. This plot should be discovered rather than announced, so show, don't tell."

Quote_1.png
Donna Grant

"My brain is open."

Quote_1.png
Donna Grant

"It is still an open question, however, as to what extent exposure really injures a performer."

Quote_1.png
Donna Grant

"The minute a person whose word means a great deal to others dare to take the open-hearted and courageous way, many others follow."

Quote_1.png
Donna Grant

"The atmosphere was wide open in those circles that we traveled in."

Quote_1.png
Donna Grant

"I'm an open book."

Explore more quotes by Steven Wright

Quote_1.png
Steven Wright
"The Bermuda Triangle got tired of warm weather. It moved to Alaska. Now Santa Claus is missing."
Quote_1.png
Steven Wright
"I wrote a few children's books... not on purpose."
Quote_1.png
Steven Wright
"I replaced the headlights in my car with strobe lights, so it looks like I'm the only one moving."
Quote_1.png
Steven Wright
"There was a power outage at a department store yesterday. Twenty people were trapped on the escalators."
Quote_1.png
Steven Wright
"In Vegas, I got into a long argument with the man at the roulette wheel over what I considered to be an odd number."
Quote_1.png
Steven Wright
"If one synchronised swimmer drowns, do all the rest have to drown too?"
Quote_1.png
Steven Wright
"Ever notice how irons have a setting for permanent press? I don't get it."
Quote_1.png
Steven Wright
"Do you think that when they asked George Washington for ID that he just whipped out a quarter?"
Quote_1.png
Steven Wright
"Sponges grow in the ocean. That just kills me. I wonder how much deeper the ocean would be if that didn't happen."
Quote_1.png
Steven Wright
"When I woke up this morning my girlfriend asked me, "Did you sleep good?" I said "No, I made a few mistakes.""
bottom of page