top of page
Quote_1.png
Anonymous

"I remember when I got married. I remember where I got married. But for the life of me I can't remember why I got married."

Standard 
 Customized
"I remember when I got married. I remember where I got married. But for the life of me I can't remember why I got married."

Exlpore more Humor quotes

Quote_1.png
Amber Hurdle

"Ma'am,' Augustus said, nodding toward her, 'your daughter's car has just been deservedly egged by a blind man. Please close the door and go back inside or we'll be forced to call the police.' After wavering for a moment, Monica's mom closed the door and disappeared."

Quote_1.png
Amber Hurdle

"At this, Gansey rolled over onto his back and folded his hands on his chest. He wore a salmon polo shirt, which, in Blue's opinion, was far more hellish than anything they'd discussed to this point."

Quote_1.png
Amber Hurdle

"I liked that he was a tenured professor in the Department of Slightly Crooked Smiles with a dual appointments in the Department of Having a Voice that Made My Skin Feel More Like Skin."

Quote_1.png
Amber Hurdle

"I guess when you turn off the main road, you have to be prepared to see some funny houses."

Quote_1.png
Amber Hurdle

"What is it with you today? says Christina on the way to breakfast. Her eyes are stillswollen from sleep and her tangled hair forms a fuzzy halo around her face."Oh, you know, I say. "Sun shining. Birds chirping.She raises an eyebrow at me, as if reminding me that we are in an undergroundtunnel."

Quote_1.png
Amber Hurdle

"O, that he were here to write me down an ass! But, masters, remember, that I am an ass; though it be not written down, yet forget not that I am an ass."

Quote_1.png
Amber Hurdle

"In a way, a lot of my humor comes from presenting things that are dramatic or shocking and then people not having socially appropriate responses, having people denying the drama by failing to react to it, and that's a really classic form of humor."

Quote_1.png
Amber Hurdle

"Sergeant Colon of the Ankh-Morpork City Guard was on duty. He was guarding the Brass Bridge, the main link between Ankh and Morpork. From theft.When it came to crime prevention, Sergeant Colon found it safest to think big."

Quote_1.png
Amber Hurdle

"I just don't- Ronan. My ears are bleeding!"Ronan turned down the music."

Quote_1.png
Amber Hurdle

"Ben, if you get pee in my brand-new car, I am going to cut your balls off."Still peeing, Ben looks over at me smirking. "You re gonna need a hell of a big knife, bro."

Explore more quotes by Anonymous

Quote_1.png
Anonymous
"Modern kitchen - where the pot calls the kettle chartreuse."
Quote_1.png
Anonymous
"We're too young to want to stop living, because after all, we shouldn't stop something we haven't even started."
Quote_1.png
Anonymous
"No man is truly married until he understands every word his wife is NOT saying."
Quote_1.png
Anonymous
"Once you find your Happy space,you wouldnt be in the rat race."
Quote_1.png
Anonymous
"Night when deep sleep falleth on men."
Quote_1.png
Anonymous
"Every way of a man is right in his own eyes, but the Lord pondereth the hearts."
Quote_1.png
Anonymous
"Once my wife gave me a wonderful birthday present. She let me win an argument."
Quote_1.png
Anonymous
"His clear conscience is a result of a poor memory."
Quote_1.png
Anonymous
"Productive prayer requires earnestness not eloquence."
Quote_1.png
Anonymous
"I'm moving down here . . . because some of you in the back might not be able to hear my talk . . . and that wouldn't be fair to those who can hear it."
bottom of page