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"As it stands right now, I lead Richard Pryor in heart attacks, two to one. However, Richard still leads me, one to nothing, in burning yourself up."
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"The modern human lives in a cesspool of man-made electromagnetic radiation."
"To understand how to be healthy, a person must first comprehend sickness, disease and death."
"My Electromagnetic Hypersensitivity (EHS) appeared to be caused by blood clots in the brain which had to be flushed out to cure it. The mystery was why I had the blood clots there, which recently was solved by the medical profession as I have a hole in my heart that creates them. It is estimated that 25% of the population have a hole in their heart and Atrial Septal Defect (ASD) may be one of the triggers for the onset of EHS in a person."
"Many people say that psychiatrists just want to push drugs. Well I seriously have to say, without medication, I'd be locked up in a VA hospital somewhere."
"An affected health has come in contact with worry."
"I have never been as alive or awake as I have been through Jiu Jitsu."
Explore more quotes by George Carlin
"He - and if there is a God, I am convinced he is a he, because no woman could or would ever fuck things up this badly."
"I'm not concerned about all hell breaking loose, but that a PART of hell will break loose... it'll be much harder to detect."
"The very existence of flame-throwers proves that some time, somewhere, someone said to themselves, You know, I want to set those people over there on fire, but I'm just not close enough to get the job done."
"I think people should be allowed to do anything they want. We haven't tried that for a while. Maybe this time it'll work."
"Most people work just hard enough not to get fired and get paid just enough money not to quit."
"I think it would be interesting if old people got anti-Alzheimer's disease where they slowly began to recover other people's lost memories."
"I do this real moron thing, and it's called thinking. And apparently I'm not a very good American because I like to form my own opinions."
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