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Darynda Jones

"Have you slept yet?''Sure. I took a power nap on the way over.''Didn't you drive there?''Yeah. Other drviers kept waking me up. Car horns should be illegal.'- Charley & Cookie."

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"Have you slept yet?''Sure. I took a power nap on the way over.''Didn't you drive there?''Yeah. Other drviers kept waking me up. Car horns should be illegal.'- Charley & Cookie."

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Donna Grant

"Fool me once, shame on youfool me twice, shame on mefool me thrice, I'm gonna get the frying pan!"

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"As a comedian, the more you commit the sin of stupidity, three essential things happen to your life:~people applaud you incessantly.~love you more than their parents.~give you a daily bread."

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"One who has both feet firmly planted in the air."

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Donna Grant

"My religion consists of laughing at myself. My motto is this: As long as there is a me, there is a reason to laugh out loud!"

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Donna Grant

"Well, that depends, I suppose. I heard someone once say that men dance the same way they have sex. So, if you want everyone here to think you're the kind of guy who just sits around and-" He stood up. "Let's dance."

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Donna Grant

"The cleverest woman finds a need for foolish admirers."

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Donna Grant

"Always be wary of any helpful item that weighs less than its operating manual."

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Donna Grant

"I was my own boss, but that all changed the day I got married."

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Donna Grant

"Could you hold the chainsaw a bit closer to your mouth, please?"

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"I went to the kitchen and felt-up the turkey."

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Darynda Jones
"The point is, stories can be all lengths. Never underestimate the power of "less is more."
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"Why do you suppose I'm here? I asked him. Angel. A thirteen-year-old departed gangbanger. "Just 'cause you're supposed to be, I guess."
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Darynda Jones
"I essentially killed those men. Am I slated for hell?"He stepped to me. Put his fingers underneath my chin. Raised it until our gazes locked. "You're a god, Dutch. And the reaper. You don't get slated. You are the slate."
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Darynda Jones
"WHILE writing, just try to have fun with your ms. Enjoy the process, but push on. Always push toward the finish line!"
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Darynda Jones
"I do not," I felt oddly appalled by her statement. "I'm an excellent liar. Ask my dentist. He swears I floss regularly."
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Darynda Jones
"The regular I both feared and salivated to see was names Reyes Farrow. Where others exuded aggression, deception, and insecurity, he literally dripped confidence, sex, and power. Mostly sex."
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Darynda Jones
"Does he ever eat cotton candy for breakfast?"He stepped around the counter to face us, lowered his gaze, and took a sip from the black mug in his hands."No," I said. "He's very much like the Big Bad Wolf. He eats little girls for breakfast."He spoke from behind the cup, his voice deep and as smooth as butterscotch. "She's wrong. I eat big girls for breakfast."
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Darynda Jones
"My powers of persuasion are only as strong as the bullshit I have to back it up.- Charley Davidson."
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Darynda Jones
"After a long pause in which he took the time to blink several times, he asked, "You named your breasts?"I turned my back to him with a shrug. "I named my ovaries, too, but they don't get out as much."
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Darynda Jones
"I know what kind of man it takes to get involved with something as barbarous as human trafficking."I get it, Swopes. He's not the kind of man you take home to meet yourstepmom. I rethought that. "Wait a minute. Maybe my stepmom would like to meet him. Do you think he ships to Istanbul?"
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