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Denis Norden

"It's like your children talking about holidays, you find they have a quite different memory of it from you. Perhaps everything is not how it is, but how it's remembered."

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"It's like your children talking about holidays, you find they have a quite different memory of it from you. Perhaps everything is not how it is, but how it's remembered."

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Amber Hurdle

"What thumbsuckers we all are...when it comes to mothers."

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Amber Hurdle

"Of course there are mothers,squeezing their breastsdry, pawning their bodies,shedding teeth for their children,or that's our fond belief.But remember - Hanseland Gretel were dumped in the forestbecause their parents were starving."

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Amber Hurdle

"When his life was ruined, his family killed, his farm destroyed, Job knelt down on the ground and yelled up to the heavens, "Why god? Why me?" and the thundering voice of God answered, "There's just something about you that pisses me off.""

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Amber Hurdle

"Happy or unhappy, families are all mysterious. We have only to imagine how differently we would be described - and will be, after our deaths - by each of the family members who believe they know us."

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Amber Hurdle

"It is a wise child that knows its own father and an unusual one that unreservedly approves of him."

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Amber Hurdle

"To each other, we were as normal and nice as the smell of bread. We were just a family. In a family even exaggerations make perfect sense."

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Amber Hurdle

"As a mother, you need to remember that a loving and compassionate God is one hundred percent aware of your child's situation."

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Amber Hurdle

"He promised us that everything would be okay. I was a child, but I knew that everything would not be okay. That did not make my father a liar. It made him my father."

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Amber Hurdle

"My father's attitude was that this was but an inevitable phase of my growing up and he affected to take it lightly. But beneath his jocular, boys-together air, he was at a loss, he was frightened. Perhaps he had supposed that my growing up would bring us closer together- whereas, now that he was trying to find out something about me, I was in full flight from him. I did not want him to know me. I did not want anyone to know me. And then, again, I was undergoing with my father what the very young inevitably undergo with their elders: I was beginning to judge him. And the very harshness of this judgment, which broke my heart, revealed, though I could not have said it then, how much I had loved him, how that love, along with my innocence, was dying."

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Amber Hurdle

"But the last one: the baby who trails her scent like a flag of surrender through your life when there will be no more coming after - oh, that's love by a different name. She is the babe you hold in your arms for an hour after she's gone to sleep. If you put her down in the crib, she might wake up changed and fly away. So instead you rock by the window, drinking the light from her skin, breathing her exhaled dreams. Your heart bays to the double crescent moons of closed lashes on her cheeks. She's the one you can't put down."

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Denis Norden
"The comedians all finished their acts with a song. They would get a certain amount of money from the song publishers and would use that money to pay the writers. None of them paid very much for their comedy material, but it all added up."
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Denis Norden
"I used to like writing for comedians - I enjoyed the challenge of making other people funny."
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Denis Norden
"If the laughter of the audience was malicious we wouldn't show it."
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Denis Norden
"Then after that came word processors and it's hard to make those laugh."
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Denis Norden
"There's an unseen force which lets birds know when you've just washed your car."
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Denis Norden
"Frank liked administrative work and was good at it."
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Denis Norden
"It's like your children talking about holidays, you find they have a quite different memory of it from you. Perhaps everything is not how it is, but how it's remembered."
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Denis Norden
"And if you can offer an explanation as to why it doesn't work then you've got to the whole root of comedy."
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Denis Norden
"And when you're on your own there is that terrifying possibility that you may be the only person on the planet who thinks it's funny - and you have no way of finding out."
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Denis Norden
"I defy anyone to get a decision that quickly these days."
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