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Henny Youngman

"That was the first time I saw a horse start from a kneeling position!"

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"That was the first time I saw a horse start from a kneeling position!"

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Donna Grant

"We cannot measure time. We can only measure changes of life and the universe."

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Donna Grant

"I wouldn't ask too much of her,' I ventured. 'You can't change the past.''Can't change the past?' he cried incredulously. 'Why of course you can!"

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Donna Grant

"Life is a bubble in the ocean of time. At the same time, it can hold all the water of the ocean in her heart."

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Donna Grant

"Wouldn't it be amazing if you could travel into the future, see where you messed up, and then go back in time to rearrange things in order to make your future better? You can. If you can foresee regret, you can mind-travel to the future. If you can train yourself to mind-travel effectively, you can intentionally affect your future by doing something about it today."

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Donna Grant

"A broad margin of leisure is as beautiful in a man's life as in a book. Haste makes waste, no less in life than in housekeeping. Keep the time, observe the hours of the universe, not of the cars."

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Donna Grant

"God had infinite time to give us.... He cut it up into a near succession of new mornings and with each therefore a new idea new inventions and new applications."

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Donna Grant

"Time is the greatest and longest-established spinner of all. ... His factory is a secret place his work noiseless and his hands are mutes."

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Donna Grant

"Eternity is a mere moment, just long enough for a joke."

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Donna Grant

"The value of time is immeasurable."

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Donna Grant

"Sometimes I feel like if you just watch things, just sit still and let the world exist in front of you - sometimes I swear that just for a second time freezes and the world pauses in its tilt. Just for a second. And if you somehow found a way to live in that second, then you would live forever."

Explore more quotes by Henny Youngman

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Henny Youngman
"Why do Jewish divorces cost so much? They're worth it."
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Henny Youngman
"That was the first time I saw a horse start from a kneeling position!"
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Henny Youngman
"I take my wife everywhere, but she keeps finding her way back."
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Henny Youngman
"A self-taught man usually has a poor teacher and a worse student."
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Henny Youngman
"If my mother knew I did this for a living, she'd kill me. She thinks I'm selling dope."
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Henny Youngman
"A Jewish woman had two chickens. One got sick, so the woman made chicken soup out of the other one to help the sick one get well."
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Henny Youngman
"Do you know what it means to come home at night to a woman who'll give you a little love, a little affection, a little tenderness? It means you're in the wrong house, that's what it means."
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Henny Youngman
"If you're going to do something tonight that you'll be sorry for tomorrow morning, sleep late."
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Henny Youngman
"While playing golf today I hit two good balls. I stepped on a rake."
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Henny Youngman
"If at first you don't succeed... so much for skydiving."
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