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Rodney Dangerfield

"I saved a girl from being attacked last night. I controlled myself."

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"I saved a girl from being attacked last night. I controlled myself."

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"Great is the difference betwixt a man's being frightened at, and humbled for his sins."

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"It may be hard for an egg to turn into a bird: it would be a jolly sight harder for it to learn to fly while remaining an egg. We are like eggs at present. And you cannot go on indefinitely being just an ordinary, decent egg. We must be hatched or go bad."

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"The individual has always had to struggle to keep from being overwhelmed by the tribe. If you try it, you will be lonely often, and sometimes frightened. But no price is too high to pay for the privilege of owning yourself."

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"It is a common enough case, that of a man being suddenly captivated by a woman nearly the opposite of his ideal."

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"And they write innumerable books; being too vain and distracted for silence: seeking every one after his own elevation, and dodging his emptiness."

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"Instead of being concerned that you have no office, be concerned to think how you may fit yourself for office. Instead of being concerned that you are not known, see to the (be?) worthy of being known."

Explore more quotes by Rodney Dangerfield

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Rodney Dangerfield
"Most of the arguments to which I am party fall somewhat short of being impressive, knowing to the fact that neither I nor my opponent knows what we are talking about."
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Rodney Dangerfield
"I told my psychiatrist that everyone hates me. He said I was being ridiculous - everyone hasn't met me yet."
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Rodney Dangerfield
"The way my luck is running, if I was a politician I would be honest."
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Rodney Dangerfield
"What a kid I got, I told him about the birds and the bee and he told me about the butcher and my wife."
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Rodney Dangerfield
"I could tell my parents hated me. My bath toys were a toaster and a radio."
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Rodney Dangerfield
"I'm at the age where food has taken the place of sex in my life. In fact, I've just had a mirror put over my kitchen table."
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Rodney Dangerfield
"My psychiatrist told me I was crazy and I said I want a second opinion. He said okay, you're ugly too."
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Rodney Dangerfield
"My wife is always trying to get rid of me. The other day she told me to put the garbage out. I said to her I already did. She told me to go and keep an eye on it."
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Rodney Dangerfield
"I worked in a pet store and people would ask how big I would get."
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Rodney Dangerfield
"We sleep in separate rooms, we have dinner apart, we take separate vacations - we're doing everything we can to keep our marriage together."
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