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Gilbert Gottfried

"If the police ever try to pick me up, Michael Jackson told me I can hide out at his house."

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"If the police ever try to pick me up, Michael Jackson told me I can hide out at his house."

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Akshay Vasu

"If the police ever try to pick me up, Michael Jackson told me I can hide out at his house."

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Personal Development

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Akshay Vasu

"This is going right to the police. So, it's a very dangerous precedent."

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Personal Development

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Akshay Vasu

"When police or prosecutors conceal significant exculpatory or impeaching material, we hold, it is ordinarily incumbent on the state to set the record straight."

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Personal Development

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Akshay Vasu

"She's in a situation she tried to, that's what's complicated. She followed orders; she called off the raid. This is a dangerous situation. Somebody in DC police went ahead and started."

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Personal Development

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Akshay Vasu

"The way they were writing Christine as this older woman who got married, which she shouldn't have. Obviously got divorced right away. Reached the glass ceiling in the police precinct. So there is a part of her that died because she knows she couldn't go any farther."

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Personal Development

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Akshay Vasu

"Even the police have an unlisted number."

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Personal Development

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Akshay Vasu

"Let me be clear about this. I don't have a drug problem. I have a police problem."

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Personal Development

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Akshay Vasu

"I know when I was here prosecuting homicides in the District of Columbia, one of the most effective units here was the cold case squad, which had on it FBI agents, as well as Metropolitan Police Department homicide detectives working together."

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Personal Development

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Akshay Vasu

"I decided that if the police couldn't catch the gangsters, I'd create a fellow who could."

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Personal Development

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Akshay Vasu

"MAC gave me 55 lipsticks to test. These are the same lipsticks I got caught stealing by the police when I was 15. How ironic."

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Gilbert Gottfried
"If the police ever try to pick me up, Michael Jackson told me I can hide out at his house."

Police

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Gilbert Gottfried
"I've never been one of those who wanted to fill my calendar up 90 percent of the time."

Time

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Gilbert Gottfried
"The pressure to being a comedian is being funny, but I've given that up, so there is no pressure whatsoever."

Funny

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Gilbert Gottfried
"I predict one of these two teams will win the Super Bowl."

Will

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Gilbert Gottfried
"No, generally I think influence is used as a nice word for plagiarism."

Influence

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Gilbert Gottfried
"Well, I play Jews and parrots. Parrots are how I've branched out."

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