"I know a lot about cars, man. I can look at any car's headlights and tell you exactly which way it's coming."

Car, Man

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"I know a lot about cars, man. I can look at any car's headlights and tell you exactly which way it's coming."

Exlpore more Car quotes

"Freedom is not an ideal, it is not even a protection, if it means nothing more than freedom to stagnate, to live without dreams, to have no greater aim than a second car and another television set."

Adlai E. Stevenson, American Politician

Car, Dreams, Freedom, Nothing

"The New Dealers have all left Washington to make way for the car dealers."

Adlai E. Stevenson, American Politician

Car, Washington

"Auto racing is boring except when a car is going at least 172 miles per hour upside down."

Dave Barry, American Journalist

Car, Racing

"The idea that maybe you don't have to own a car if you only need one occasionally may catch on, just like time-sharing caught on in real estate."

Steve Case, American Businessman

Car, Idea, Time, May

"Someday we'll look back on this moment and plow into a parked car."

Evan Davis, British Economist

Car,

"I have bad reflexes. I was once run over by a car being pushed by two guys."

Woody Allen, American Director

Car, Being

"It's like driving a car at night. You never see further than your headlights, but you can make the whole trip that way."

E. L. Doctorow, American Author

Car, Driving, Night

"Dogs feel very strongly that they should always go with you in the car, in case the need should arise for them to bark violently at nothing right in your ear."

Dave Barry, American Journalist

Car, Dogs, Nothing, Right

"I remember walking the dog one day, I saw a car full of teenage girls, and one of them rolled down the window and yelled, 'Marc Jacobs!' in a French accent."

Marc Jacobs, American Designer

Car, Day, Girls, Teenage

"It just seemed too weird to me. I don't know, maybe they were smoking a joint in the car downstairs from their parents' apartment. I had to go that far to put together a scenario of how they could have possibly recognized me."

Marc Jacobs, American Designer

Car, Parents, Smoking

Explore more quotes by Mitch Hedberg

"I recently took up ice sculpting. Last night I made an ice cube. This morning I made 12, I was prolific."

Night

"You know when they have a fishing show on TV? They catch the fish and then let it go. They don't want to eat the fish, they just want to make it late for something."

Fish

"I'm sick of following my dreams. I'm just going to ask them where they're goin', and hook up with them later."

Dream

"I'm gonna fix that last joke by taking out all the words and adding new ones."

Word

"I want to get a vending machine, with fun sized candy bars, and the glass in front is a magnifying glass. You'll be mad, but it will be too late."

Fun

"Why is Cloud 9 so amazing? What is wrong with Cloud 8? That joke came off the top of my head, and the top of my head ain't funny!"

Wrong

"I was at this casino minding my own business, and this guy came up to me and said, "You're gonna have to move, you're blocking a fire exit." As though if there was a fire, I wasn't gonna run. If you're flammible and have legs, you are never blocking a fire exit."

Business

"I wear a necklace, cause I wanna know when I'm upside down."

Cause

"I love blackjack. But I'm not addicted to gambling. I'm addicted to sitting in a semi circle."

Love

"Y'know, you can't please all the people all the time... and last night, all those people were at my show."

Time