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"Everything is funny, as long as it's happening to somebody else."
Author Name
Personal Development
"If I studied all my life, I couldn't think up half the number of funny things passed in one session of congress."
Author Name
Personal Development
"It's a funny thing about life; if you refuse to accept anything but the best, you very often get it."
Author Name
Personal Development
"Leno, Conan. They are both really funny. They really know how to land one."
Author Name
Personal Development
"Jim Carrey, a comic genius, has a harder time overcoming the public's desire for him to be funny simply because he's so good at it."
Author Name
Personal Development
"We have actors from other films, from 'Baywatch,' and so on, and these people are looking exactly the opposite of what they are. The transformations were so smooth, and so funny to watch, it was unbelievable."
Author Name
Personal Development
"I walked in thinking, 'I have ten movies under my belt and now they want me to go back to making commercials?' I said, if I do that, I want it to be funny."
Author Name
Personal Development
"It's funny how the music industry is enraged about the Internet and the way things are copied without being paid for. But you know why people steal the music? Because they can't afford the music."
Author Name
Personal Development
"This is going to sound really funny. I have a poster of Zac Efron on my wall! I think every girl has a poster of him in their room so, why not join the club!"
Author Name
Personal Development
"I found out a long time ago that if I didn't have a good story for a song, I could just make one up! Now it seems over half the stories in my show are made up. The funny thing is, those seem to be the ones that resonate the most with the audiences."
Author Name
Personal Development
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"Always end the name of your child with a vowel, so that when you yell the name will carry."
End
"Women don't want to hear what you think. Women want to hear what they think - in a deeper voice."
Woman
"Decide that you want it more than you are afraid of it."
Want
"The truth is that parents are not really interested in justice. They just want quiet."
Truth
"As I have discovered by examining my past, I started out as a child. Coincidentally, so did my brother. My mother did not put all her eggs in one basket, so to speak: she gave me a younger brother named Russell, who taught me what was meant by "survival of the fittest.""
Mother
"Human beings are the only creatures on earth that allow their children to come back home."
Home
"Fatherhood is pretending the present you love most is soap-on-a-rope."
Love
"That married couples can live together day after day is a miracle that the Vatican has overlooked."
Day
"If the new American father feels bewildered and even defeated, let him take comfort from the fact that whatever he does in any fathering situation has a fifty percent chance of being right."
Father
"You can turn painful situations around through laughter. If you can find humor in anything, even poverty, you can survive it."
Humor
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