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"You can imagine my embarrassment when I killed the wrong guy."
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"If my mom told one more story about how cute I looked in the bathtub when I was three years old I was going to burrow into the snow and freeze myself to death."
"There are all sorts of books offering advice on how to deal with life-threatening situations, but where's the advice on dealing with embarrassing ones?"
"For no real reason " well, perhaps because of the seriousness under the trees or Nader's hair, which was very messy and covered in little grass seeds " Katie began to giggle. She knew it was wrong, yet it was also natural. She covered her mouth with both hands, but Nader was already pale with revulsion. He turned and marched away into unwanted sunlight, leaving her to wonder why bad things happened and why no good person prevented them."
"Oh my god! Oh no, no, no, no. The condoms. Hugh had seen the condoms. She wanted to bury her head under the covers and never come out."
"Consider me your candy stripper... I mean striper."
"Have you ever gotten the feeling that you aren't completely embarassed yet, but you glimpse tomorrow's embarrassment?"
"Are you referring to the day you instructed me to 'follow the white rabbit,' plied me with absinthe and brownies, and tried to have your way with me? Didn't take long for you to lose your romantic streak, did it?"
"Not everyone knows what it is to have your father's rival's penis inches from your nose."
"It's an embarrassment of riches because you have directors who don't better. You end up with so much stuff going on the screen that you don't know where to look, and that's what I consider self-indulgent."
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