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"I don't think my wife likes me very much, when I had a heart attack she wrote for an ambulance."
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"If you would have a good wife, marry one who has been a good daughter."

"If a composer has a nice wife and some nice children, how can he let the children starve on his dissonances?"

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"There are two kinds of marriages - where the husband quotes the wife and where the wife quotes the husband."

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"So I rang up British Telecom, I said 'I want to report a nuisance caller', he said 'Not you again'."

"I don't think my wife likes me very much, when I had a heart attack she wrote for an ambulance."
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