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"I don't think my wife likes me very much, when I had a heart attack she wrote for an ambulance."
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"I'm not a real movie star. I've still got the same wife I started out with twenty-eight years ago."
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Personal Development
"If you would have a good wife, marry one who has been a good daughter."
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Personal Development
"He knows little, who will tell his wife all he knows."
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Personal Development
"Bigamy is having one wife too many. Monogamy is the same."
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Personal Development
"In Hawaii, we go to this wonderful place, all families. My wife and I go directly from breakfast to a beach chair where we read all day. My daughter goes from water to pool to running around with friends she meets, some of whom are regulars there."
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Personal Development
"The only thing I feel passionate about is my wife."
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Personal Development
"I think my wife saw a picture of the rock group Journey, and they're kind of aging, and the one guy had dyed blonde hair with black roots, and... my idea was to get a little earring, I wanted to have a dangling earring."
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Personal Development
"The show can go on without me, and probably will, but I want to come back to act in Chicago. My wife and I just bought a condo downtown, and I want to do theater."
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Personal Development
"I board with a poor Scotchman: his wife can talk scarce any English."
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Personal Development
"A man's best fortune, or his worst, is his wife."
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"So I rang up British Telecom, I said 'I want to report a nuisance caller', he said 'Not you again'."
Want
"I am accusing him of stealing my best material, he was a very funny man."
Funny
"Have you heard about the Irishman who reversed into a car boot sale and sold the engine?"
Car
"I don't think my wife likes me very much, when I had a heart attack she wrote for an ambulance."
Wife
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