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"Red Skelton... I broke into tears when I met him."
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"The tears stream down my cheeks from my unblinking eyes. What makes me weep so? There is nothing saddening here. Perhaps it is liquefied brain."
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Personal Development
"When Alexander of Macedon was 33, he cried salt tears because there were no more worlds to conquer. Eric Bristow is only 27."
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Personal Development
"I have seen what a laugh can do. It can transform almost unbearable tears into something bearable, even hopeful."
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Personal Development
"Red Skelton... I broke into tears when I met him."
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Personal Development
"I felt the tears streak down my cheeks but I wasn't crying."
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Personal Development
"Why would I cry over a boy? I would never waste my tears on a boy. Why waste your tears on someone who makes you cry?"
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Personal Development
"Las lágrimas que no se lloranesperan en pequeños lagos?O serán ríos invisiblesque corren hacia la tristeza?"
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"I have a new joke today. Martha Stewart's on suicide watch. They had to unplug all of her ovens."
Suicide
"Carrot Top... I gave him advice once and he ran with it. He should thank me."
Advice
"Marty Richards is an angel on Earth. A producer that does what he says he'll do. He helped me greatly."
Earth
"Because someone stole Gregory Peck's star on Hollywood Blvd., I have hired a Brink's guard to protect my star!"
Hollywood
"Red Skelton... I broke into tears when I met him."
Tears
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