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"Red Skelton... I broke into tears when I met him."
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"Why would I cry over a boy? I would never waste my tears on a boy. Why waste your tears on someone who makes you cry?"

"When Alexander of Macedon was 33, he cried salt tears because there were no more worlds to conquer. Eric Bristow is only 27."

"The tears stream down my cheeks from my unblinking eyes. What makes me weep so? There is nothing saddening here. Perhaps it is liquefied brain."
Explore more quotes by Rip Taylor

"Marty Richards is an angel on Earth. A producer that does what he says he'll do. He helped me greatly."

"I have a new joke today. Martha Stewart's on suicide watch. They had to unplug all of her ovens."

"Because someone stole Gregory Peck's star on Hollywood Blvd., I have hired a Brink's guard to protect my star!"
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