"People always ask me, 'Were you funny as a child?' Well, no, I was an accountant."

Funny, People

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"People always ask me, 'Were you funny as a child?' Well, no, I was an accountant."

Exlpore more Funny quotes

"Everything is funny, as long as it's happening to somebody else."

Will Rogers, American Actor

Funny,

"If I studied all my life, I couldn't think up half the number of funny things passed in one session of congress."

Will Rogers, American Actor

Funny, Life, Congress

"It's a funny thing about life; if you refuse to accept anything but the best, you very often get it."

W. Somerset Maugham, British Playwright

Funny, Life

"Leno, Conan. They are both really funny. They really know how to land one."

Jimmy Fallon, American Comedian

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"Jim Carrey, a comic genius, has a harder time overcoming the public's desire for him to be funny simply because he's so good at it."

Ben Stiller, American Comedian

Funny, Time, Genius, Desire

"I walked in thinking, 'I have ten movies under my belt and now they want me to go back to making commercials?' I said, if I do that, I want it to be funny."

Orlando Jones, American Comedian

Funny, Movies, Now, Thinking

"It's funny how the music industry is enraged about the Internet and the way things are copied without being paid for. But you know why people steal the music? Because they can't afford the music."

Tom Petty, American Musician

Funny, Music, People, Being

"This is going to sound really funny. I have a poster of Zac Efron on my wall! I think every girl has a poster of him in their room so, why not join the club!"

Vanessa Hudgens, American Actress

Funny, Sound

"Cheryl Cole and Katy Perry are two of the hottest girls in the world - and so normal and funny with it. If I was a few years older they are the kind of girls I'd like to date. I want a younger version of Cheryl and Katy - a mixture of the two would be hot."

Justin Bieber, Canadian Musician

Funny, Girls, Want, World

"People don't realize that I'm really funny and I'm an excellent bridge player."

Sheryl Crow, American Musician

Funny, People

Explore more quotes by Ellen DeGeneres

"I'm on the patch right now. Where it releases small dosages of approval until I no longer crave it, and then I'm gonna rip it off."

Approval

"I ask people why they have deer heads on their walls. They always say because it's such a beautiful animal. There you go. I think my mother is attractive, but I have photographs of her."

Mother

"Nothing says holidays, like a cheese log."

Holiday

"But seriously, I think overall in the scheme of things winning an Emmy is not important. Let's get our priorities straight. I think we all know what's really important in life - winning an Oscar."

Life

"My grandmother started walking five miles a day when she was sixty. She's ninety-seven now, and we don't know where the hell she is."

Day

"You have to stay in shape. My grandmother, she started walking five miles a day when she was 60. She's 97 today and we don't know where the hell she is."

Day

"I was raised around heterosexuals, as all heterosexuals are, that's where us gay people come from... you heterosexuals."

People

"In the beginning there was nothing. God said, 'Let there be light!' And there was light. There was still nothing, but you could see it a whole lot better."

God

"Yeah I'm thirty-six, but on the show I'm thirty-two. Nobody wants to watch a thirty-six year old woman, so they decided to make me thirty-two. Much more appealing somehow."

Old

"Sometimes you can't see yourself clearly until you see yourself through the eyes of others."

Eye