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"I trained to be a priest - started to. I went to seminary school when I was 11. I wanted to be a priest, but when they told me I could never have sex, not even on my birthday, I changed my mind."
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"With stand-up you've just got that one chance. Audiences can be quite fickle."
Audience
"I've got too much respect for stand-ups to call myself one."
Respect
"I always feel like an interloper when I do serious drama. It's my own paranoia."
Drama
"Had I become a priest, the sermons would've been electric!"
Sermons
"I trained to be a priest - started to. I went to seminary school when I was 11. I wanted to be a priest, but when they told me I could never have sex, not even on my birthday, I changed my mind."
Birthday
"My work's never been accepted by my family, but it's something I'll always carry on with."
Family
"You can't be a proper comic unless you've been out on stage and felt the fear."
Fear
"It is easy for me to love myself, but for ladies to do it is another question altogether."
Love
"We all have days where we can't pronounce things or give it the emotion it deserves."
Emotional
"There's lots of stuff about me being a fan of Cliff but not being gay. Which suggests that he is, but he's not. Anyway, this is Channel 4, let their lawyers sort it out."
Being
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"In 1993 my birthday present was a star on Hollywood's Walk of Fame."
Author Name
Personal Development
"I'm most comfortable in my birthday suit."
Author Name
Personal Development
"I trained to be a priest - started to. I went to seminary school when I was 11. I wanted to be a priest, but when they told me I could never have sex, not even on my birthday, I changed my mind."
Author Name
Personal Development
"I cried on my 18th birthday. I thought 17 was such a nice age. You're young enough to get away with things, but you're old enough, too."
Author Name
Personal Development
"On my birthday, I was in Milan for the collections."
Author Name
Personal Development
"I have had fans make me the big picture collages of the photo books; I have had fans send me birthday cakes... sing to me on my voicemail. I have had fans flash me. I have had older fans give me their bras and underwear onstage."
Author Name
Personal Development
"Success is like reaching an important birthday and finding you're exactly the same."
Author Name
Personal Development
"I had a birthday one night on a farm we were shooting on. I walked into the tent, and there were 150 people waiting for me, all wearing masks of my face."
Author Name
Personal Development
"Well, I started conducting kind of by accident. I wanted to give myself a special birthday present for my fortieth birthday, and I was living in San Francisco at the time and I started attending some of the concerts and then simply dropping hints."
Author Name
Personal Development
"With my wife I don't get no respect. I made a toast on her birthday to 'the best woman a man ever had.' The waiter joined me."
Author Name
Personal Development
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