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"Divorce is the one human tragedy that reduces everything to cash."
Author Name
Personal Development
"Please do not ask me to talk about my divorce. Mr. Ziegfeld and I are such very good friends. It is only a little matter quite between ourselves."
Author Name
Personal Development
"To get over my divorce, I got a prescription to live at the Playboy Mansion for a while."
Author Name
Personal Development
"In Hollywood, an equitable divorce settlement means each party getting fifty percent of publicity."
Author Name
Personal Development
"Divorce lawyers stoke anger and fear in their clients, knowing that as long as the conflicts remain unresolved the revenue stream will keep flowing."
Author Name
Personal Development
"Divorce is a game played by lawyers."
Author Name
Personal Development
"In Palm Springs, they think homelessness is caused by bad divorce lawyers."
Author Name
Personal Development
"Being a divorcee in a small town is a little like playing Monopoly, eventually you land on all the properties."
Author Name
Personal Development
"Whenever a husband and wife begin to discuss their marriage they are giving evidence at a coroner's inquest."
Author Name
Personal Development
"She would go to Memphis and this was after our divorce. And I would send her to Memphis to be with him."
Author Name
Personal Development
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"I realized women and humor were linked very closely."
Humor
"I think in our desire to create a better America, we have to have civilized debate in this country and not just yelling."
Politics
"School did give me one of the greatest gifts of my life, though. I learned how to read, and for that I remain thankful. I would have died otherwise. As soon as I was able, I read, alone. Under the covers with a flashlight or in my corner of the attic - I sought solace in books. It was from books that I started to get an inkling of the kinds of assholes I was dealing with. I found allies too, in books, characters my age who were going through or had triumphed against the same bullshit."
Education
"I think commercialism helps Christmas and I think that the more capitalism we can inject into the Christmas holiday the more spiritual I feel about it"
Capitalism
"I know the fashion is that everything is fair game [for comedy material] but I don't believe that."
Comedy
"Its easier to feel a little more spiritual with a couple of bucks in your pocket."
Spiritual
"When I stopped drinking, it was only because I thought if I don't stop, I'm going to die."
Thought
"I found the prospect daunting, but somehow comforting, too, because the counselors insisted it could be done, and, after all, many of them were recovering alcoholics themselves."
Recovery
"For example, in Paris, if one desires to buy something, you enter the store and say 'Good morning, sir' or 'madam, ' depending on what is appropriate, you wait until you are greeted, you make polite chitchat about the weather or some such, and when the salesperson asks what they can do for you, then and only then do you bring up the vulgar business of the transaction you require."
Culture
"I think when you become a parent you go from being a star in the movie of your own life to the supporting player in the movie of someone else's."
Parenting
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