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"I wanted to take up music, so my father bought me a blunt instrument. He told me to knock myself out."
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"I was born nine months premature."
Months
"I'm convinced my cockroaches have military training, I set off a roach bomb - they diffused it."
Military
"My girlfriend has crabs, I bought her fishnet stockings."
Girlfriend
"I was lonely driving here tonight so I hugged the road."
Driving
"At Motel 6 in Amish Country I wonder if they leave the light on for you?"
Country
"A guy gave me a job at an information booth - no questions asked."
Information
"I went to a urologist - he told me I could go at any time."
Time
"My boss told me to get my butt in gear. I told him I was shiftless."
Boss
"After all these years I had the privilege of naming my private part, cause we have nicknames. So I named my private part pride... it's not much but at least I have my pride."
Cause
"I don't need to worry about identity theft because no one wants to be me."
Identity
More
"One must indeed test the strings to this life, bounce the bow, wet the mouthpiece, prepare for the deeper music that follows."
Author Name
Personal Development
"There is nothing in the world so much like prayer as music is."
Author Name
Personal Development
"Music was my refuge. I could crawl into the space between the notes and curl my back to loneliness."
Author Name
Personal Development
"88% of what we call good songs aren't really good. They merely remind us of a good time we once had."
Author Name
Personal Development
"You can cage the singer but not the song."
Author Name
Personal Development
"For the eye has this strange property: it rests only on beauty."
Author Name
Personal Development
"Miranda raised her eyebrows. Apparently she hadn't figured me for a country music fan. I liked her for that."
Author Name
Personal Development
"Music reveals the deepest beauty of the soul."
Author Name
Personal Development
"We could argue about what constitutes the creepiest line in pop music, but for me it's early Beatles- John Lennon, actually- singing 'I'd rather see you dead, little girl, than to be with another man."
Author Name
Personal Development
"Music fills the void between the heart and soul and connects them in heavenly delights."
Author Name
Personal Development
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