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Lemony Snicket

"It is very useful, when one is young, to learn the difference between "literally" and "figuratively." If something happens literally, it actually happens; if something happens figuratively, it feels like it is happening. If you are literally jumping for joy, for instance, it means you are leaping in the air because you are very happy. If you are figuratively jumping for joy, it means you are so happy that you could jump for joy, but are saving your energy for other matters."

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"It is very useful, when one is young, to learn the difference between "literally" and "figuratively." If something happens literally, it actually happens; if something happens figuratively, it feels like it is happening. If you are literally jumping for joy, for instance, it means you are leaping in the air because you are very happy. If you are figuratively jumping for joy, it means you are so happy that you could jump for joy, but are saving your energy for other matters."

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Amber Hurdle

"Language is fossil poetry. As the limestone of the continent consists of infinite masses of the shells of animalcules, so language is made up of images, or tropes, which now, in their secondary use, have long ceased to remind us of their poetic origin."

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Amber Hurdle

"Homo Americanus is going to go on speaking and writing the way he always has, no matter what dictionary he owns."

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Amber Hurdle

"I want to hear you wound my lovely language with your rough barbarian tongue."

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Amber Hurdle

"English is capable of defining sentiments that the human nervous system is quite incapable of experiencing."

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Amber Hurdle

"There has to be new words to explain new worlds."

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Amber Hurdle

"The dream vocabulary shaves meanings finer and closer than do the world's daytime dictionaries."

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Amber Hurdle

"In my dream, it was the tongue of what is, and anything spoken in it becomes real, because nothing said in that language can be a lie. It is the most basic building brick of everything."

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Amber Hurdle

"I liked, as I like still, to make words look self-conscious and foolish, to bind them by mock marriage of a pun, to turn them inside out, to come upon them unawares. What is this jest in majesty? This ass in passion? How do god and devil combine to form a live dog?"

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Amber Hurdle

"She wanted more, more slang, more figures of speech, the bee's knees, the cats pajamas, horse of a different color, dog-tired, she wanted to talk like she was born here, like she never came from anywhere else."

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Amber Hurdle

"A dog is der Hund the dog; a women is die Frau the wom[an]; a horse is das Pferd, the horse; now you put that dog in the Genitive case, & is he the same dog he was before? No sir; he is das Hundes; put him in the Dative case & what is he? Why, he is dem Hund. Now you snatch him into the accusative case & how is it with him? Why he is den Hunden? ... Read moreBut suppose he happens to be twins & you have to pluralize him, what then? Why sir they'll swap that twin dog around thro' the four cases till he'll think he's an entire International Dog Show all in his own person. I don't like dogs, but I wouldn't treat a dog like that. I wouldn't even treat a borrowed dog that way."

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Lemony Snicket
"Boredom is not black licorice, Snicket," she said. "There's no reason to share it with me."
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"The table of elements does not contain one of the most powerful elements that make up our world, and that is the element of surprise."
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Lemony Snicket
"The world is swirling with so many mysteries and secrets that nobody will ever track down all of them. But with a book you can stay up very late, reading until all the secrets are clear to you. The questions of the world are hidden forever, but the answers in a book are hiding in plain sight."
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Lemony Snicket
"Everything happens for a reason."
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Lemony Snicket
"But the sad truth is that the truth is sad, and what you want does not matter."
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Lemony Snicket
"There's nothing wrong with athletics, but they shouldn't get in the way of your schoolwork."
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Lemony Snicket
"One of the greatest myths in the world - & the phrase 'greatest myths' is just a fancy way of saying 'big fat lies' -- is that troublesome things get less & less troublesome if you do them more & more. People say this myth when they are teaching children to ride bicycles, for instance, as though falling off a bicycle & skinning your knee is less troublesome the fourteenth time you do it than it is the first time. The truth is that troublesome things tend to remain troublesome no matter how many times you do them, & that you should avoid doing them unless they are absolutely urgent."
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Lemony Snicket
"Tears are curious things, for like earthquakes or puppet shows they can occur at any time, without any warning and without any good reason."
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Lemony Snicket
"In an emergency, one often learns that one's companions can be of even less help in extraordinary circumstances than they are during an average evening."
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Lemony Snicket
"The sky was dark blue twilight, pretty to look at but lonely to walk under."
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