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"It's funny when people say, 'I don't think Julia likes me.' Honey, if I don't like you, you're going to know about it."
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"Everything is funny, as long as it's happening to somebody else."
Author Name
Personal Development
"I got a lot of support from my parents. That's the one thing I always appreciated. They didn't tell me I was being stupid; they told me I was being funny."
Author Name
Personal Development
"If I studied all my life, I couldn't think up half the number of funny things passed in one session of congress."
Author Name
Personal Development
"The most exciting phrase to hear in science, the one that heralds new discoveries, is not 'Eureka!' but 'That's funny...'"
Author Name
Personal Development
"A lot of the tabloid stories are written so well, they're very clever and very funny. But you have to focus on what's really important and not read them - don't dive into it and don't get caught up in it."
Author Name
Personal Development
"My friend had a funny remark; he told me everybody has something - some people have a big butt, some people are insecure and at least you know what it is, even if it's a lump on your head. I know I have a lump on my head."
Author Name
Personal Development
"Things that go on at Happy Times are very funny this year, and if you were watching last year, some of the people you saw then as basically extras emerge as real characters in their own right this season, at least to some degree."
Author Name
Personal Development
"But you can't focus on things that matter if all you've been is asleep for forty years. Funny how sleep rhymes with sheep. You know."
Author Name
Personal Development
"Shirley MacLaine said, You're so funny, then gave me a hug. Everything went white. I couldn't hear, I couldn't see. I thought I was going to pass out."
Author Name
Personal Development
"The funny thing about commercials to me is that many of them now don't even mention the product until the very end. You don't really know what the commercial is all about. They're kind of like little movies, like shorts, and that's why I think they're so entertaining."
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Personal Development
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"I enjoy hats. And when one has filthy hair, that is a good accessory."
Hair
"If all you have to offer is a look that is supposed to be appealing, the you are going to be paid attention to about a tenth as long as you would be if when you speak you are interesting."
Attention
"I love romantic comedies. I like to watch them and I like to be in them. It's something that's increasingly difficult to find that spark of originality that makes if different than the ones that come before."
Love
"Republican comes in the dictionary just after reptile and just above repugnant."
Republican
"Love is not love, without a violin playing goat."
Love
"My real hair color is kind of a dark blonde. Now I just have mood hair."
Hair
"I just want to make a point that it's not just great teachers that sometimes shape your life. Sometimes it's the absence of great teachers that shapes your life and being ignored can be just as good for a person as being lauded."
Life
"I don't think I realized that the cost of fame is that it's open season on every moment of your life."
Life
"Happiness isn't happiness unless there's a violin-playing goat."
Happiness
"True love doesn't come to you it has to be inside you."
Love
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