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"Never raise your hand to your children - it leaves your midsection unprotected."
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"Cullen is up there killing my children. He's killing everyone."

"More than Captain America your kids need Amelia Earhart " more than Ant Man, they need Abraham Lincoln - more than Green Arrow they need Gandhi " more than Iron Man they need Isaac Newton."

"You know your children are growing up when they stop asking you where they came from and refuse to tell you where they're going."

"It's shameful what's happening in this country in terms of what we deny our children."

"I do very well three things: my job, stupidities and children."

"I wish to thank my parents for making it all possible... and I wish to thank my children for making it necessary."
Explore more quotes by Robert Orben

"Sometimes I get the feeling the whole world is against me, but deep down I know that's not true. Some of the smaller countries are neutral."

"In prehistoric times, mankind often had only two choices in crisis situations: fight or flee. In modern times, humor offers us a third alternative; fight, flee - or laugh."

"More than ever before, Americans are suffering from back problems: back taxes, back rent, back auto payments."

"Washington is a place where politicians don't know which way is up and taxes don't know which way is down."

"Every morning I get up and look through the Forbes list of the richest people in America. If I'm not there, I go to work."

"Every day I get up and look through the Forbes list of the richest people in America. If I'm not there, I go to work."
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