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"Never raise your hand to your children - it leaves your midsection unprotected."
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"Instead of needing lots of children, we need high-quality children."

"It's shameful what's happening in this country in terms of what we deny our children."

"And part of that is, what is the point of having children if you don't have the privilege of bringing them up?"

"Children do not have to learn that streets are dangerous places by potentially fatal trial and error."

"Good mothers know that their relationship with each of their children is like a movable feast, constantly changing and evolving."

"I dropped to the lowest point when I allowed my children to go down that ramp into the water without me."

"Our children await Christmas presents like politicians getting in election returns: there's the Uncle Fred precinct and the Aunt Ruth district still to come in."
Explore more quotes by Robert Orben

"A graduation ceremony is an event where the commencement speaker tells thousands of students dressed in identical caps and gowns that 'individuality' is the key to success."

"I got a Valentine's Day card from my girl. It said, 'Take my heart! Take my arms! Take my lips!' Which is just like her. Keeping the best part for herself."

"Every day I get up and look through the Forbes list of the richest people in America. If I'm not there, I go to work."

"Inflation is bringing us true democracy. For the first time in history, luxuries and necessities are selling at the same price."

"More than ever before, Americans are suffering from back problems: back taxes, back rent, back auto payments."
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