"There's nothing as useful as the truth, in terms of ruining anyone's day, week, month, year, decade, or life Unless, of course, you own a remotely operated automatic flamethrower-drone-tower and have some marinated pork-chops on your person, to lure unsuspecting dogs in close proximity to it, but since dogs don't really have lives - by using this specific method of torture, you can only improve the remaining few seconds of their existence."

Satire, Truth, Humor, Destruction, Morality

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"There's nothing as useful as the truth, in terms of ruining anyone's day, week, month, year, decade, or life Unless, of course, you own a remotely operated automatic flamethrower-drone-tower and have some marinated pork-chops on your person, to lure unsuspecting dogs in close proximity to it, but since dogs don't really have lives - by using this specific method of torture, you can only improve the remaining few seconds of their existence."

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"Genuinity is mother of stupidity."

Vikrmn, Indian Author

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"You don't have to be stupid to be a Christian, ... but it probably helps."

Ambrose Bierce, American Journalist

Satire, Humor, Religion, Ignorance, Critique

"Fella says today, 'Depression is over. I seen a jackrabbit, an' they wasn't nobody after him.' An' another fella says, 'That aint the reason. Can't afford to kill jackrabbits no more. Catch 'em and milk 'em an' turn 'em loose. One you seen prob'ly gone dry."

John Steinbeck, American Author

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"The difficulty with humourists is that they will mix what they believe with what they don't whichever seems likelier to win an effect."

John Updike, American Novelist

Satire, Humor, Irony, Belief, Manipulation

"God created war so that Americans would learn geography."

Mark Twain, American Author

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"Cervantes smiled Spain's chivalry away; A single laugh demolished the right arm Of his country."

George Byron, Scottish Poet

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"I'm joking when I say I'm the grand-pop of those claiming to be an avatar-messiah or god. But if they're serious, then, I am who I am."

Fakeer Ishavardas, Indian Spiritual Leader

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"To begin with, I dined there on Monday, and once a week is quite enough to dine with one's own relations."

Oscar Wilde, Irish Dramatist

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"Does your guilty past catch up so fast with your age? You've been robbing hex nuts, cap nuts, lock nuts and wing nuts. No wonder you have turned into a greedy nut."

Angelica Hopes, Swiss Author

Satire, Guilt, Crime, Irony

"Prices of semicolons, plot devices, prologues and inciting incidents continued to fall yesterday, lopping twenty points off the TomJones Index."

Jasper Fforde, British Novelist

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Explore more quotes by Will Advise

"A river starts by longing for the ocean..."

Journey

"One must be a lotus to emerge from mucky waters clean."

Purity

"With all the global warming going around nowadays, it would only take the stubbornness of a mule and the patience of a sitting duck to achieve what no man has ever done before " namely melt the ice in a wax figure's beaten heart that was chopped off and hidden 50 meters under the polar ice caps in Alaska, to protect it from feeling."

Motivation

"Eating pizza is like having a little heaven in your nose. Wait, that's not what you eat pizza with. I always get it confused with pizza-pie."

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"Nostalgia is the only acceptable form of sadness."

Nostalgia

"To have the wisdom is rarely achieved by seeking the knowledge."

Wisdom

"To storm, a mind, it must be balanced,by what can't be it must be challenged..."

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"If automating everything makes people lazier and lazier, and laziness leads to stupidity, which it does for most people, judging by the current content circulating the social networks everywhere, except North Korea, where they don't have any internet to speak of - at some point the Japanese robots, for which a market niche is currently being developed, with no concerns on how they should be designed to act in society or outside it - will have no choice, but to take everything over, to preserve us from ourselves."

Technology

"I'm an oracle of the past. I can accurately predict up to 1 minute in the future, by thoroughly investigating the last 2 years of your life. Also, I look like an old database " flat and full of useless info."

Knowledge

"Fluttershyes are like regular shyes, only shinier, and, apparently - also shyer. Whenever petted - they don't flutter, but run away instead."

Humor