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"Cockroaches and socialites are the only things that can stay up all night and eat anything."
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"Turn up your radio. Watch lots of telly and eat loads of choc. Feel guilty. Stay up all night. Learn everything in six hours that has taken you two years to compile. That's how I did it."

"My dear doctor, I am surprised to hear you say that I am coughing very badly, as I have been practising all night."

"You have a different crowd every night, so you should do a different show to suit them. I tailor the show to their mood."

"Night is purer than day; it is better for thinking, loving and dreaming. At night everything is more intense, more true. The echo of words that have been spoken during the day takes on a new and deeper meaning."

"If it comes back, I think that Friday night is not a good night to be on."

"Never get married in the morning - you never know who you might meet that night."
Explore more quotes by Herb Caen

"The trouble with born-again Christians is that they are an even bigger pain the second time around."
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