"A man begins cutting his wisdom teeth the first time he bites off more than he can chew."

"The only thing wrong with immortality is that it tends to go on forever."

"The trouble with born-again Christians is that they are an even bigger pain the second time around."

"Cockroaches and socialites are the only things that can stay up all night and eat anything."

"I tend to live in the past because most of my life is there."