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Exlpore more Humor quotes
"Fool me once, shame on youfool me twice, shame on mefool me thrice, I'm gonna get the frying pan!"
Author Name
Personal Development
"As a comedian, the more you commit the sin of stupidity, three essential things happen to your life:~people applaud you incessantly.~love you more than their parents.~give you a daily bread."
Author Name
Personal Development
"One who has both feet firmly planted in the air."
Author Name
Personal Development
"My religion consists of laughing at myself. My motto is this: As long as there is a me, there is a reason to laugh out loud!"
Author Name
Personal Development
"Well, that depends, I suppose. I heard someone once say that men dance the same way they have sex. So, if you want everyone here to think you're the kind of guy who just sits around and-" He stood up. "Let's dance."
Author Name
Personal Development
"The cleverest woman finds a need for foolish admirers."
Author Name
Personal Development
"Always be wary of any helpful item that weighs less than its operating manual."
Author Name
Personal Development
"I was my own boss, but that all changed the day I got married."
Author Name
Personal Development
"Could you hold the chainsaw a bit closer to your mouth, please?"
Author Name
Personal Development
"I went to the kitchen and felt-up the turkey."
Author Name
Personal Development
Explore more quotes by Woody Allen
"If you're not failing every now and again, it's a sign you're not doing anything very innovative."
Now
"Having sex is like bridge. If you don't have a good partner, you'd better have a good hand."
Relationship
"What if nothing exists and we're all in somebody's dream?"
Dream
"I hate reality but it's still the best place to get a good steak."
Life
"It's a wonderful thing to be able to create your own world whenever you want to."
Creativity
"I am going to give my psychoanalyst one more year then I'm going to Lourdes."
Spiritual
"Your self esteem is like a notch below Kafka's."
Self
"Right now it's only a notion, but I think I can get the money to make it into a concept, and later turn it into an idea."
Money
"Photons have mass? I didn't even know they were Catholic."
Science
"I believe people ought to mate for life...like pigeons or Catholics."
Relationship
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