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Mitch Hedberg

"I'm a heroine addict. I need to have sex with women who have saved someone's life."

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"I'm a heroine addict. I need to have sex with women who have saved someone's life."

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Donna Grant

"The condition you're in at this moment is the product of your previous thoughts, to change your condition, change your thoughts."

Personal Development

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Donna Grant

"Instead of clinging to the only Lifeboat that can save, we have tossed overboard biblical truths in the name of [compromise], living on the edge of life, like the man who rides the parameter of a hurricane, daring it to sweep him away."

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Donna Grant

"There is always a path to our target, the problem is to discover it!"

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Donna Grant

"Collect memories, they are your precious property."

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Donna Grant

"From a cleansed conscience emerges a changed life."

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Donna Grant

"Simple things have greater power than the complicated things!"

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Donna Grant

"Abundance in life comes from generosity."

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Donna Grant

"To live in bliss, love everything, including people, unconditionally."

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Donna Grant

"With a foggy mind you see nothing but fog!"

Explore more quotes by Mitch Hedberg

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Mitch Hedberg
"I had a stick of CareFree gum, but it didn't work. I felt pretty good while I was blowing that bubble, but as soon as the gum lost its flavor, I was back to pondering my mortality."
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Mitch Hedberg
"Every book is a children's book if the kid can read!"
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Mitch Hedberg
"I love blackjack. But I'm not addicted to gambling. I'm addicted to sitting in a semi circle."
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Mitch Hedberg
"Dogs are forever in the push up postion."
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Mitch Hedberg
"I'm a heroine addict. I need to have sex with women who have saved someone's life."
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Mitch Hedberg
"I want to get a vending machine, with fun sized candy bars, and the glass in front is a magnifying glass. You'll be mad, but it will be too late."
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Mitch Hedberg
"My friend asked me if I wanted a frozen banana. I said 'No, but I want a regular banana later, so... yeah.'"
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Mitch Hedberg
"I'm gonna fix that last joke by taking out all the words and adding new ones."
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Mitch Hedberg
"I used to be a hot-tar roofer. Yeah, I remember that... day."
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Mitch Hedberg
"Rice is great if you're really hungry and want to eat two thousand of something."
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