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"There are two ways to handle a woman, and nobody knows either of them."
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"It sometimes happens that a woman is handsomer at twenty-nine than she was ten years before."

"The faces of most American women over thirty are relief maps of petulant and bewildered unhappiness."

"We say that slavery has vanished from European civilization, but this is not true. Slavery still exists, but now it applies only to women and its name is prostitution."

"You can find women who have never had an affair, but it is hard to find a woman who has had just one."
Explore more quotes by Kin Hubbard

"After a fellow gets famous it doesn't take long for someone to bob up that used to sit by him in school."

"As to those who hoard gold and silver and spend it not in God's path, give them, then, the tidings of a painful agony: on a day when these things shall be heated in hell-fire, and their foreheads, and their sides, and their backs shall be branded therewith."

"It's going to be fun to watch and see how long the meek can keep the earth once they inherit it."

"There is nothing so aggravating as a fresh boy who is too old to ignore and too young to kick."
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