"At a formal dinner party, the person nearest death should always be seated closest to the bathroom."

Death, Party

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"At a formal dinner party, the person nearest death should always be seated closest to the bathroom."

Exlpore more Death quotes

"Regard your soldiers as your children, and they will follow you into the deepest valleys; look on them as your own beloved sons, and they will stand by you even unto death."

Sun Tzu, Chinese Philosopher

Death, Children, Soldiers, Sons

"To be idle is a short road to death and to be diligent is a way of life; foolish people are idle, wise people are diligent."

Buddha, Indian Leader

Death, People, Life, Road

"She cannot possibly be dead, people do not just die."

John Green, American Author

Death, Denial, Life, Existence

"When a person dies he only appears to die. He is still very much alive in the past, so it is very silly for people to cry at his funeral. All moment, past, present, future, always have existed, always will exist."

Kurt Vonnegut, American Author

Death, Life, Truth, Time

"Do not forever with thy vailed lidsSeek for thy noble father in the dust.Thou know'st 'tis common; all that lives must die,Passing though nature to eternity."

William Shakespeare, English Dramatist

Death, Truth, Life, Wisdom

"I leaned against the desk, ran my hand over my father's paperwork, and picked up a pen. Turning around, I shoved it into my father's hand. 'What's this?' he asked, raising a brow. 'You'll need it to sign my death certificate, ' I said, pain vibrating my veins against my muscles and bones. 'Are we done now? (Eric)"

Shannon A. Thompson, American Author

Death, Emotion, Despair, Loss, Pain

"It is difficult to accept death in this society because it is unfamiliar. In spite of the fact that it happens all the time, we never see it."

Elisabeth Kubler-Ross, American Psychologist

Death, Society, Time, Fact

"This world's a city full of straying streets, and death's the market-place where each one meets."

William Shakespeare, English Dramatist

Death, Truth, Wisdom, Life, Power

"She'll die.' 'Aye. That's a consequence of being alive."

Ursula K. Le Guin, American Writer

Death, Life, Reality, Truth

"It is not death, it is dying that alarms me."

Michel de Montaigne, French Philosopher

Death, Dying

Explore more quotes by George Carlin

"Here's all you have to know about men and women: women are crazy, men are stupid. And the main reason women are crazy is that men are stupid."

Relationship

"In America, anyone can become president. That's the problem."

Society

"I'm happy to tell you there is very little in this world that I believe in."

Philosophy

"Avoid teams at all cost. Keep your circle small. Never join a group that has a name."

Self-Help

"Words are all we have, really. We have thoughts but thoughts are fluid. Then we assign a word to a thought and we're stuck with that word for that thought, so be careful with words. I like to think that the same words that hurt can heal. It's a matter of how you pick them."

Philosophy

"Y'ever notice how you never seem to get laid on Thanksgiving? I think it's because all the coats are on the bed."

Humor

"You show me a lazy prick who's lying in bed all day, watching TV, only occasionally getting up to piss, and I'll show you a guy who's not causing any trouble."

Life

"No matter how you care to define it, I do not identify with the local group. Planet, species, race, nation, state, religion, party, union, club, association, neighborhood improvement committee; I have no interest in any of it. I love and treasure individuals as I meet them, I loathe and despise the groups they identify with and belong to."

Philosophy

"This is a lttle prayer dedicated to the separation of church and state. I guess if they are going to force those kids to pray in schools they might as well have a nice prayer like this: Our Father who art in heaven, and to the republic for which it stands, thy kingdom come, one nation indivisible as in heaven, give us this day as we forgive those who so proudly we hail. Crown thy good into temptation but deliver us from the twilight's last gleaming. Amen and Awomen."

Politics

"That's why they call it the American Dream, because you have to be asleep to believe it."

Society