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"At a formal dinner party, the person nearest death should always be seated closest to the bathroom."
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Exlpore more Death quotes
"I've told my children that when I die, to release balloons in the sky to celebrate that I graduated. For me, death is a graduation."
"A few cold words on yonder stone, A corpse as cold as they can be - Vain words, and mouldering dust, alone - Can this be all that's left of thee? O, no! thy spirit lingers still Where'er thy sunny smile was seen: There's less of darkness, less of chill On earth, than if thou hadst not been.Thou breathest in my bosom yet, And dwellest in my beating heart; And, while I cannot quite forget, Thou, darling, canst not quite depart."
"When death speaks to me, it speaks only of the beauty of life."
"Death has a tendency to encourage a depressing view of war."
"I don't like to sit and bask in my own awards. Awards represent artistic death to me."
Explore more quotes by George Carlin
"I had no shoes, and I felt sorry for myself until I met a man who had no feet. I took his shoes. Now I feel better."
"You're just another american who is willfully ignorant of the big red, white and blue dick being shoved up your asshole every day... The owners of this country know the truth... it's called the American dream because you have to be asleep to believe it!"
"No matter how you care to define it, I do not identify with the local group. Planet, species, race, nation, state, religion, party, union, club, association, neighborhood improvement committee; I have no interest in any of it. I love and treasure individuals as I meet them, I loathe and despise the groups they identify with and belong to."
"I'm not concerned about all hell breaking loose, but that a PART of hell will break loose... it'll be much harder to detect."
"He - and if there is a God, I am convinced he is a he, because no woman could or would ever fuck things up this badly."
"I would never want to be a member of a group whose symbol was a guy nailed to two pieces of wood."
"Do you know why hurricanes have names instead of numbers? To keep the killing personal. No one cares about a bunch of people killed by a number. '200 Dead as Number Three Slams Ashore' is not nearly as interesting a headline as 'Charlie kills 200.' Death is much more satisfying and entertaining if you personalize it.Me, I'm still waitin' for Hurricane Ed. Old Ed wouldn't hurt ya, would he? Sounds kinda friendly. 'Hell no, we ain't evacuatin'. Ed's comin'!"
"I think people should be allowed to do anything they want. We haven't tried that for a while. Maybe this time it'll work."
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