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"I haven't trusted polls since I read that 62% of women had affairs during their lunch hour. I've never met a woman in my life who would give up lunch for sex."
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"The condition you're in at this moment is the product of your previous thoughts, to change your condition, change your thoughts."
Personal Development

"Life becomes difficult when out of sync with your heart-felt desires."

"The worst enemy of life, freedom and the common decencies is total anarchy; their second worst enemy is total efficiency."

"To get matured, you must have an education in the School of Solitude!"

"Happiness is not defined by how much money you possess."

"If you want people to enter your world, you don't need to invite them; just keep your door open and keep your thoughts plain!"
Explore more quotes by Erma Bombeck


"For years my wedding ring has done its job. It has led me not into temptation. It has reminded my husband numerous times at parties that it's time to go home. It has been a source of relief to a dinner companion. It has been a status symbol in the maternity ward."


"My theory on housework is, if the item doesn't multiply, smell, catch fire, or block the refrigerator door, let it be. No one else cares. Why should you?"


"Once you get a spice in your home, you have it forever. Women never throw out spices. The Egyptians were buried with their spices. I know which one I'm taking with me when I go."


"I was terrible at straight items. When I wrote obituaries, my mother said the only thing I ever got them to do was die in alphabetical order."


"Never go to your high school reunion pregnant or they will think that is all you have done since you graduated."


"Getting out of the hospital is a lot like resigning from a book club. You're not out of it until the computer says you're out of it."
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