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"A hospital bed is a parked taxi with the meter running."
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"I could be with a woman in a bed, for weeks even, and it would seem to me like three seconds. Or 300 years."
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Personal Development
"When I'm in bed with a woman, my favorite move is a wrestling hold called the lip lock."
Author Name
Personal Development
"The first girl you go to bed with is always pretty."
Author Name
Personal Development
"Being married means I can break wind and eat ice cream in bed."
Author Name
Personal Development
"Yeah, what happened was Universal wanted one of the characters to be nice so they chose me so there was a scene where the girl was tied to the bed and I let her go."
Author Name
Personal Development
"I do have odd habits. I check under my bed every night for the bogeyman. That's just a little thing, though."
Author Name
Personal Development
"My formula for living is quite simple. I get up in the morning and I go to bed at night. In between, I occupy myself as best I can."
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Personal Development
"I hate housework! You make the beds, you do the dishes and six months later you have to start all over again."
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Personal Development
"On the soft bed of luxury many kingdoms have expired."
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Personal Development
"There are no taboos in bed, and there shouldn't be any taboos in bed."
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Personal Development
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"Politics doesn't make strange bedfellows - marriage does."
Marriage
"I must say I find television very educational. The minute somebody turns it on, I go to the library and read a good book."
Television
"The secret of life is honesty and fair dealing. If you can fake that, you've got it made."
Life
"Those are my principles, and if you don't like them... well, I have others."
Principle
"I don't care to belong to a club that accepts people like me as members."
People
"Marriage is a wonderful institution, but who wants to live in an institution?"
Marriage
"A hospital bed is a parked taxi with the meter running."
Bed
"It isn't necessary to have relatives in Kansas City in order to be unhappy."
Order
"No man goes before his time - unless the boss leaves early."
Time
"Room service? Send up a larger room."
Service
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