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"A hospital bed is a parked taxi with the meter running."
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"At one point, I didn't get out of bed for, I think, three months, and I went down to the bottom of the hill one day and I had to call somebody to get me to come back up - come pick me up because I couldn't physically walk up the hill."
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Personal Development
"If it weren't for the rocks in its bed, the stream would have no song."
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Personal Development
"I lay in the bed at the hospital and said, 'let's see what I have left.' And I could see, I could speak, I could think, I could read. I simply tabulated my blessings, and that gave me a start."
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Personal Development
"I've got lots of good friends. I could have affairs. I can read a book all night, put the cat on the end of the bed. I can pick up my passport and go to France. I don't have to ask anybody."
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Personal Development
"I m up at 5 in the morning and in bed by 10 in the evening."
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Personal Development
"Being married means I can break wind and eat ice cream in bed."
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Personal Development
"Once, the parental bed collapsed because all the children sat on it at once."
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Personal Development
"Yeah, what happened was Universal wanted one of the characters to be nice so they chose me so there was a scene where the girl was tied to the bed and I let her go."
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Personal Development
"I promised to always bring up a glass of water to her before we go to bed, and she promised to never let me dress myself."
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Personal Development
"There's a little vanity chair that Charlie gave me the first Christmas we knew each other. I'll not be parting with that, nor our bed - the four-poster - I'll be needing that to die in."
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"From the moment I picked your book up until I laid it down, I was convulsed with laughter. Someday I intend reading it."
Laughter
"I have had a perfectly wonderful evening, but this wasn't it."
Evening
"I must confess, I was born at a very early age."
Age
"Please accept my resignation. I don't care to belong to any club that will have me as a member."
Care
"Behind every successful man is a woman, behind her is his wife."
Wife
"The first thing which I can record concerning myself is, that I was born. These are wonderful words. This life, to which neither time nor eternity can bring diminution - this everlasting living soul, began. My mind loses itself in these depths."
Time
"I didn't like the play, but then I saw it under adverse conditions - the curtain was up."
Play
"Outside of a dog, a book is a man's best friend. Inside of a dog it's too dark to read."
Friendship
"I'm not feeling very well - I need a doctor immediately. Ring the nearest golf course."
Feelings
"Military justice is to justice what military music is to music."
Music
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